Tiggy hung his head. “No. I forgot.”
“For the love of fuck—”
“No need for that kind of language,” Gary sniffed. “It’s unbecoming on a lady of your station.”
“Gaaaaah!”
“I’ll get them!” Kevin said as he stomped toward the keep.
Three hours and forty-six minutes later.
“…BUT IT’S all my stuff. You don’t understand!”
“I will leave your ass here,” I threatened.
“Sam’s just upset because he doesn’t have—”
“Gary, you do not want to finish that sentence.”
“—scarves or pajamas or brooms or piles of gold,” Gary finished anyway. “What? I’ve told you. You’re not intimidating. I’ve slept near you while you’ve had wet dreams. That sort of takes away any fear you might have engendered in me. Especially when it sounded like you were muttering about being spit-roasted.”
“Really,” Kevin said gleefully. “I’m sure we can work something out—”
“AND THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!” I roared.
They were quiet as we walked out of the valley. It felt good.
Then, “So, Kevin. Have you ever played I Spy?”
“No, my sweet lovedrop. But I assume we role-play spies, go on dangerous missions until we double-cross each other. Sexually.”
This was going to be the longest trip of my life.
Fifth day on the road.
“WHAT DO you mean everyone knew?” I said incredulously.
“Exactly that,” Gary said. “Everyone knew that you were in love with Ryan and Ryan was in love with you. Everyone, Sam. Literally everyone.”
“That’s not true! And he doesn
’t love me.” It was easier to convince myself of that than know the truth.
“You two couldn’t have been more obvious if you had made signs and hung them around your neck that said HaveHeart4Evah.”
“Mom didn’t know.”
“Yes she did.”
“Dad didn’t.”
“Uh. Yeah. He did.”
“Kevin didn’t.”
“Yes I did. You sighed when he rode up on Gary. Like, full-on dreamy sigh.”
“Sam,” Gary said. “Everyone knew. Random strangers. Dark wizards. Gay fairies. Drag queens. Bards. Elves. Townspeople. Cults. Everyone.”