“You really shouldn’t.”
“It’s weird, though, right? They must be super pissed off if they keep following me. Was Lartin some kind of big to-do? I’d never heard of him before. Was he like their king or something? Can wizards have kings? Oh wait. Randall. Sort of. Oh gods. Did we kill the king of the Darks?”
Silence.
“Morga
n!”
“Hush, I’m thinking about what to say.”
“You mean you’re trying to figure out what secret to keep.”
“He was important to the Darks, Sam. No official ranking. I guess it’s easiest to say that he was beloved, in his way. People had an affection for him, even if he was a bit out there.”
That… sort of made sense. “You mean like that special uncle that everyone just loves but is still kind of creepy because his touches last just a bit too long but he’s always really apologetic about it and then he brings you pie?”
Morgan sighed. “I don’t even know why I bother anymore.”
“You love me. Don’t front. Essentially, we killed someone popular.”
“Creepy popular. And not just killed. Obliterated.”
“Tiggy tends to get… protective.”
“Sam, the only way they could tell it was Lartin was because one of his fingers found embedded in the bedrock was wearing a ring with his signet on it. Let me repeat. Finger. Embedded. In rock.”
“Very protective, then. Maybe we could have gone about it a bit differently, sure, but it’s not like there is a bounty on my head or anything.”
Silence.
“There’s a bounty on my head, isn’t there?”
“Finger. In the rock.”
I grinned. “Okay. I’ll admit. This is a first. And I’m strangely thrilled by it. How much am I worth?”
“Yeah. About that. So. They’re not really offering any coin for it. Or gold. It’s more of a… for the sake of doing it. And the notoriety.”
“What? I’m not worth anything?”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Morgan said. “You’re worth plenty. To me. And your mom. And dad. And Gary and Tiggy. Just not to the people who want to kill you.”
“Not helping,” I growled. “Who gets a bounty on their head when there is no actual bounty?”
“You do, apparently. First I’ve ever heard of that happening. But then, you talk to dragons and get gay fairy married, so I try not to question things too much anymore.”
“Those weren’t my fault! First, I can’t help it if I attract the weirdoes. Second, I’m about to be attacked by angry cult members who are carrying scythes and torches.”
“You are a weirdo. And tell those angry cult members… wait. What?”
Farther down the road, cresting the hill into the valley, came the people of Tarker Mills, Eloise in the lead. She looked so badass with her hair billowing around her that I almost was able to admire her and forget the fact that most likely, she was coming to kill us all. For once, I’d like to have the wind blow just right and make my clothes billow around me and have someone say, “Dude. Look. That guy is so cool. I want to be him when I grow up.”
“Uh,” I said to Morgan. “I have to go.”
“When you get back, I am never letting you out again, do you hear me?” he said. “A cult. Sam, only you would stumble upon a cult.”
“You say that like it’s insulting.”