“Gods,” Morgan muttered. “I didn’t even….”
“What?” I asked. “Why would Randall come to Lockes without—”
And that’s when it hit me.
The wedding.
Randall would need to be there to officiate the wedding between Justin and Ryan. The King wasn’t on his way out and wouldn’t be hopefully for years to come. But Ryan could just as easily be Prince Consort as he could be the King Consort. It was the wedding of the century, and of course the oldest and most notable wizard in existence would be there. And of course the same wizard was ordained to perform such ceremonies. He’d married the King to his Queen all those years before. And most likely a long line of royalty and notables before him.
Well that fucking sucked.
But I needed to man the fuck up. No more of this stupid bullshit. I needed to get up and get over this and be who I was supposed to be. I could do this.
“That’s fine,” I said briskly. “I’ll come home. Most likely, Justin and Rya
n will go on ahead. I’ll take a few days and then start out. Just so you know, we’ll probably be coming back with Kevin. I’m pretty sure he and Gary are dating. Or it’s like Stockholm Syndrome. Either way, it’s creepy and sweet and will most likely end up with me walking in on something that will scar me for life.”
“Kevin,” Morgan said. “You’re bringing back the dragon named Kevin that you can talk to because he’s in love with Gary.”
“Oh, it’s not just me. Everyone can talk to him. They just have to stand next to me because I think it’s a proximity thing. Though, I’ll be honest, most people probably won’t want to stand near me and him at the same time because he tends to want to sleep with everything that has a pulse. And maybe a few things that don’t.”
“Just what kind of quests are you sending my son on?” Dad asked.
“This is not a normal thing,” Morgan said quickly.
“Kind of normal,” I said. “Seminormal.”
“Not helping,” Morgan said.
“Sam,” Mom said. “Don’t sleep with a dragon for your first time. If that’s what you want to do down the road, I won’t stop you. But I want your first time to not have scales and claws.”
“And of course my mother knows I’m a virgin,” I muttered.
“Well, yes,” she said. “A mother’s intuition. I know everything.” I could hear the frown in her voice when she continued. “Well, I didn’t know about Ryan being your cornerstone, so maybe not everything. I have failed you as a mother.”
“Just one time,” I told her. “Not all the other times.”
“You should have told us,” Dad said.
“What could you have done?”
“Something.”
“Like?”
“Just… shut up. I would have punched someone. I still might. Now I know why Tiggy wants to smash everything.”
“He looked at me when he said that,” the King said. “It’s okay. I pretty much deserve it.”
“And Tiggy and Gary?” Mom asked. “They’re okay?”
“Yeah. Aside from Gary being dragon-wooed and Tiggy possibly destroying a town filled with corn and cults with his fists.”
“Sometimes,” Dad said, “the sentences that come out of your mouth make me smile. That was one of them. I no longer want to hit something too badly.”
“He is smiling,” Mom said. Then, dropping her voice as if she thought I wouldn’t hear her, “Should we talk about the fan-club thing?”
“I don’t think he meant to say that,” Dad whispered back. “He’ll probably be too embarrassed to talk about it.”