The dragon’s eyes narrowed. “I have never raped anything in my life,” he said, sounding offended. “Everyone wants a piece of this.”
“Because of the size of your… hand.”
And then, just because my day apparently could use a bit more weird, the dragon actually smiled. It looked like he had thousands of teeth. “It’s a big hand,” he agreed, taking another step.
“You took something from the King,” I said.
“Did I?” the dragon growled. “And what might that be?”
“You know.”
“Say it.”
“The Prince.”
“Ah,” the dragon said. “I’m sorry, but your prince is in another castle.”
“What?” I was confused. What other castle?
It sighed. “You young people today. Never respecting the classics.”
“Is he alive?” I asked, refusing to let the dragon distract me any further.
“Maybe I ate him,” the dragon said.
That stopped me. “You wouldn’t.”
“How do you know? Expert on dragons, are you?”
“Hey! I can talk to you, can’t I? How many other people can do that?”
“True,” it said. “But I haven’t yet decided if that’s a revelation or an annoyance. It could go either way.” It snapped its jaws at me again. I would have rolled my eyes, but I was too busy taking a step back in absolute terror. I was pretty sure it was justified. Big teeth are scary teeth.
“You said you let other people go who are tied up here,” I said.
“Right. Well. Grr. Rawr. I’m a ferocious beast and all that. And speaking of, why are people always tied up here?”
“Seriously?”
It cocked its head at me and waited.
“Oh man,” I said. “You’re going to be insufferable when you find out.”
“Find out what?”
“So, you know that village outside the valley?”
“Yes,” it said. “I chase their sheep sometimes.”
“To eat them?”
The dragon grimaced. “No, not to eat them. I just like the little noises they make when they run screaming from me. You sound just like them.”
“I do not sound like frightened sheep!”
He jerked his head at me and I might have shrieked. Slightly.
The dragon chuckled. “Pretty little sheep wizard.”