“Oh my gods.”
“Ever been fisted by a selkie, Ryan?”
“No!”
“Oh. It’s kind of like being with a merman, but less fishy.”
“I’ve never been with a merman!”
“Seriously? What kind of mystical creatures have you been with?”
“Oh my gods. None.”
“Really?” Gary puffed out his chest. “I could change that. If you feel the need.”
“Gary!” I snapped.
He looked at me, fluttering his eyelashes. It looked amazing. Fucking unicorns. “Yes, Sam?”
“Cut it out.”
“Cut what out, Sam?”
“You know what.”
“I’m just trying to get to know the Knight Commander. After all, he’s going to be living only a stone’s throw away from us for the rest of our lives.”
“Gary.”
“Ha,” Tiggy said. “Stone.”
“I feel like something’s going over my head,” Ryan said.
“Do you feel like that a lot?” Gary asked. “Because you look like you feel that way a lot. Missing things. That are right in front of you. I know too many people like that.”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t know that many people.”
“Exactly,” he said.
I frowned. “I get the feeling you’re being a dick.”
“Oh? You think so?”
“Quite possibly.”
Gary looked back at Ryan. “You’ve been working out, right? You seem bigger than you did a year ago.”
He shrugged. “I guess. Gained a stone or two of muscle.”
“A stone or two of muscle,” Gary said, slowly turning his head toward me. “How. About. That.”
I threw my jar of beans at his head.
WE WERE four days outside of Tarker Mills when we stopped in the hamlet of Arvin’s Crossing and treated ourselves to staying at an actual inn with a bed rather than another night on the cold, hard ground.
There was a tavern in the inn that served strange-smelling fish that made me wish for the beans again. The customers at the bar were in awe of Gary and Tiggy and kept touching them. I kept an eye on them as I poked the fish with a stunted metal fork. I swear to the gods it blinked at me.
“I can’t tell if this is fresh or has been dead a really long time,” I muttered.