“I swear he’s doing this on purpose,” Gary whispered hotly.
“I swear I want to do him on purpose,” I breathed.
Gary choked and I didn’t care.
I would never have him. I knew this. It wasn’t meant to be.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t be creepy and have this one fucking moment where I could pretend and wish and hope and dream and yes, now I had an erection and it was fucking awful.
“Do you see his stomach?” Gary murmured.
Of course I had. The thin line of hair that disappeared to his groin. The cut of the abdominals. Which were wet. Very, very wet. “I want to be the river,” I told Gary, sounding slightly hysterical. “I want to be the river right at this very moment.”
“Why is the sun setting so perfectly behind him?”
“Because the gods want to grace his shoulders with the fading light.”
“I want to grace his shoulders with my—”
I’ll never know what dirty thing Gary wanted to grace Ryan’s shoulders with. And I was totally okay with that. I was not okay with why I would never know.
“What you guys doing?” Tiggy said. Very, very loudly.
And the creepy voyeuristic bathing fantasy came to a grinding halt.
Ryan looked up.
Gary and I froze.
Tiggy cocked his head and waved.
“You okay, Sam?” Ryan asked, and his voice was husky.
So I blurted out, “I’ve got wood.”
Gary turned his head slowly to gape at me.
“Oh dear gods,” I muttered. Then louder, “Wood. I brought the wood. I’ve got so much wood. Wood. Fuck. Firewood. I’ve got firewood. For the fire. Because it’s going to get nipples out tonight. Cold. It’s going to get cold out tonight. Sweet molasses.” I bent down
to pick up the firewood and stumbled, almost falling flat on my face. “Ha, ha!” I cried. “Whoops. I’m okay. Don’t mind me. Just feeling a bit weak in the knees. But not because of anything that’s happening right in front of me like thighs! No, sir. I’ve just got bad knees. But you don’t, do you? You’ve got… knees. Like. Knees. And I’ve got firewood. For the fire.” I bent down to pick up the wood, willing myself to just shut up, shut up! “Well. This has been erotic. Enlightening. Gods, this is enlightening. Like eye-opening. Nothing else!” I stood up, holding the firewood to my chest like it was supposed to block me from the glory that was Ryan Foxheart. “Oh my gods,” I whispered fervently. “I’m a Foxy Lady.”
“You’re a what?” Gary screeched.
“Nothing!” I shouted at him. “Nothing! No funny stuff. I am bringing wood for the fire and now you’re getting out of the river and why are you walking in slow motion? That’s… that’s just swell. Hell. That’s hell on, on, on your feet. Because of the river rocks.” And Ryan was smiling at me. Like I was amusing. “You’re so wet,” I told him unnecessarily.
He nodded as he stood on the riverbank. Then, never taking his eyes from me, he clasped his hands above his head and stretched his back. I immediately turned to Gary and whispered that I had a newfound fetish for armpits that I was just discovering and was quite unsure what to do with. Gary in turn said that they were obviously made for licking and I dropped the firewood again.
“Water feels good,” Ryan said. “Not too cold.”
“That’s wonderful,” I told him. “Just wonderful. I am so glad we’re both here and talking like we are right now.”
He grinned at me before turning around and bending over to pick up his discarded clothes.
“Dat. Ass,” Gary and I said at the same time.
Because it was a nice ass. Better than nice. It was a splendid ass. Superb, even.
“Bite it,” Gary whispered, pushing his head against my back. “For fuck’s sake, go bite it.”