“The Buttery Herb Cheese Muffin,” Kevin breathed.
“Do I know that one?” Ryan asked. “Do I want to know that one?”
“Probably not,” I said. “It’s the one where….” And I whispered the rest in his ear, because saying the words any louder would doom my soul to hell.
“Why?” Ryan moaned when I finished. “Why, why, why is that even a thing? How would you even gather it all to put it in there?”
“I have my ways,” Gary said simply, as if he weren’t the most disgusting creature alive.
“Without your horn, you were radiant,” Kevin purred. “With it, your beauty is unparalleled. I want to worship you all over.”
“That’ll do for now,” Gary said as Kevin licked his neck. “I feel the buttery herbs already.”
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Ryan said as he started to gag.
“I don’t want to know,” Justin said. “King Dimitri. It is an honor to see you again.” He bowed low, one arm folded behind his back. “Though I must admit that you aren’t the guest I would have expected.” He glanced at Randall, looking slightly irritated. “Perhaps an explanation is in order so that I may report back to my father.”
“I would be happy to provide you with one,” Dimitri said, wings flapping furiously. “Should we retire to your extremely private quarters? And have Sam come as well?”
“Not gonna happen, dude,” I said, rubbing Ryan’s back as his head was between his knees.
“Pity, that,” Dimitri said. “The dragon did inform me of the King’s rescue. I was pleased to hear that he was once again safe and relatively healthy.”
“He’s with a doctor now getting a full physical,” Justin said. “Complaining about it, of course, but I won’t take any chances. Myrin had him captive for six months. He said nothing untoward happened during that time, but still. It doesn’t hurt to be smart about it.”
“Indeed,” Dimitri said. “Though I must admit to being confused myself as to why we’ve been summoned.” He turned and flew in front of Randall. He crossed his tiny arms across his tiny chest, and if it hadn’t been for his dick flopping all over the place and the fact that he had just tried to have a threesome with me and Justin, I would have cooed at him for being so little. “Randall. Care to explain? I’ve told you before that we fairies do not get involved in the fights of men.”
Randall snorted. “And yet you meddle incessantly. Little hints here, twisting of an arm there. Curious how you not being involved looks like the exact opposite.”
“Careful, wizard,” Dimitri warned as his eyes narrowed.
“Sam has the dragons.”
Dimitri glanced at me for a long moment before looking back at Randall. “I am aware.”
“And that includes the Great White.”
“I am aware of that too.”
“Our parting was… unfortunate.”
Dimitri laughed derisively. “Is that how you wish to put it? Certainly a revisionist take on things.”
And for perhaps the first time since I’d known him, Randall looked flustered. It was astonishing to see him fumble for his words. “Yes, well, it’s—you see, there were extenuating circumstances that—I required a different—”
“You forsook your mentor for love,” Dimitri said, not unkindly. “You loved another, he wouldn’t have it, and you made your choice. And even though you couldn’t speak directly—not with words—you both knew the consequences. I played mediator for you then. I won’t do it now.”
“You were with them when he mentored Randall?” I demanded. “Why the hell am I only finding this out now?”
Randall was grinding his teeth, a vein throbbing in his forehead. “It didn’t matter before.”
Dimitri eyed me curiously. “You know we’re the Keepers of the Forest.”
“He capitalized that,” Tiggy whispered to Gary. “It true now.”
“And the Great White is of the Dark Woods,” Randall said begrudgingly. “The fairies have always had a… symbiotic relationship with him. He created. And the fairies made it blossom.”
“Not unlike your Zero,” Dimitri said. “But on a much larger scale.” He sounded far too smug for my liking.