“Sorry, dude. You’re kind of stuck with me now. Like, for good.”
“I like the way that sounds. It’s—wait. What? Sam, you’re going to live a hell of a lot longer than I am if we get out of this. It’s going to—”
“Yeah. Um. About that.”
He pulled away. “What did you—”
“Okay, look,” I blurted out. “Maybe we should have talked about this, but hell, I kind of figured what with you being my cornerstone, it was already a rest-of-our-lives kind of thing. I mean, I love you and you love me, right? And I—” I sighed. “In the desert. On the way to Mashallaha, I made a wish upon the stars. I wanted to be mortal. Like you. And my parents. And Justin and the King. I wanted to grow old with you until we both have hair sticking out of our ears and we’re scowling at all the young people who are ruining society with their grossly liberal ideas on being able to marry their half sisters or goats or something.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
I frowned. “I don’t know. I got distracted by you being old and still somehow being hotter than the sun, and that led to goats, and—”
“Sam. Focus.”
“Right. Where was I? Oh yeah. I didn’t want… this. I didn’t want Randall’s life, or even Morgan’s. I can’t… I just can’t, okay? So I asked the gods that when all was said and done to make me mortal.”
“And they agreed?”
I shook my head, and the cautiously hopeful expression on his face fell. “No. Because gods are assholes, and I’m pretty sure that they dislike me as much as I dislike them.”
“I don’t understand,” he said helplessly, trying to pull away.
I didn’t let him. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose. “I did it myself.”
“What?” he whispered.
“Turns out there was something to the whole most powerful wizard in an age aside from feeding my ego. I…. Ever since Vadoma came to Castle Lockes, I’ve been on this path, this set path where it felt like I didn’t have a choice. That everything was spinning out of control. I went into the woods after—after you were hurt, because I didn’t see there could be any other way. I had to do what was asked of me, because it was bigger than just you or I. What we have. I love you, Ryan. More than anything. But like you said, I have an oath. To the Crown. To the country. To the people here. Even to Lady Fucking Tina, and I can’t believe I said that out loud. I think I’ve been hexed and—”
“Sam.”
I smiled tremulously at him. “I took control of my own destiny. Set my own path. Made my magic my bitch. The Great White shoved everything he had into me—and gods, that sounds terrible—and I took it. Because I had to. He taught me more in a year than any wizard should learn in a lifetime. And because of him, because of the fucking Destiny of Dragons, I learned things no wizard has ever learned before.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Like how to be mortal. It was… a light. All I had to do was snuff it out. And I did.”
He kissed me then. With all that he had. His cheeks were wet, and I was laughing, laughing, laughing against his mouth, his fingers digging into the sides of my head. He was frantic in his movements, muttering, “You’re so stupid, you’re so stupid, Sam, I love you, gods, I love you,” and it was the greatest feeling in the world. Being kissed by him. Being held by him. Being loved by him.
“Are you sure?” he asked, even though he didn’t stop kissing me.
“Yeah, dude,” I said, the words muffled against his mouth. “More sure than I’ve been about anything.”
“I can’t believe….” He shook his head as he pulled back. “You did that for me?”
“Yeah. And for me too. Because I want to live my life the way I want. Not the way the gods want. Or Randall, or even Morgan.”
“Randall’s gonna be pissed.”
“Eh. He took it pretty well.”
“You told him?”
“Yep. He was more… shocked than angry. Granted, he could still be pissed at me later. You know how he is. Gets revenge when you least expect it.”
“You are so fucking stupid.”
I grinned at him. “You still pissed off at me?”
He frowned. “Why? I thought that’s what this whole thing was about, so we wouldn’t be angry with each other.”
“Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. But if you were still angry with me, we could totally have angry-we’re-fighting sex where you manhandle me and maybe I fuck you up against the wall. Or you could fuck me, and I could be this awesome bossy bottom who still tells you what to do, because that’s how we roll.”