“We have no idea,” I said.
Well, shit.
“Come again?” Mama asked, voice low.
Justin’s face was in his hands.
“Um,” I said. “Yes. I’m gonna need a do-over. Okay. So, you were being all intimidating and awesome and beautiful and saying things like ‘That shan’t be what’s happening, and you are welcome for being in my presence, now what are you going to do?’ And to that I say, we’re still working on it.” I frowned. “Dammit. Why do I always have to tell the truth when I’m trying to lie with reassuring platitudes?”
Gary snorted. It came out the brightest pink I’d ever seen. It was pretty.
“Sam so special,” Tiggy said.
Mama stared at me. “If what Moishe has said about you is true and if you truly do have as much magic as he seems to think, what’s stopping you from marching into the City of Lockes and taking it back yourself? Surely if you’re the one the gods have chosen, then now would be the time to actually do what you were chosen for. Hell, if you’re so godsdamn powerful, why can’t you just wish him away. Or dead. Preferably dead.”
I winced. “It doesn’t quite… work. Like that?”
“Precious, I am growing tired of your vagaries. I suggest you speak in specifics before I lose my temper. We both know what happens when I lose my temper.”
“Mama smash?” Tiggy asked.
“Yes, lovely,” she said. “Mama smash.”
I sighed. “I’m… volatile.”
She blinked. “So there was truth to what Moishe said.”
“No. I’m absolutely not going to turn Dark. Have you seen me? I’d be the worst villain. Like, ever.”
“But….”
I glanced at Ryan, who was staring at me with eyes narrowed. “Buuuut. There… might? Have been some truth. To the whole. Um. Magic thing. It’s… a lot. In me. Right now. In a short amount of time.”
“What Sam is trying and failing miserably to say,” Randall interjected, “is that a wizard takes decades to construct his magic. To build it up, to familiarize himself with it, to trust it and himself. Then, and only then, does he take the Trials. And even then, sometimes a wizard will fail and must go back to figure out where he went wrong so that he may try again.”
“But not Sam,” Mama said.
“Not Sam,” Randall agreed. “Sam is different. He always has been, much to my dismay.” That certainly didn’t make me feel any better. “But isn’t that what we’ve always said about him? Ever since he came to the castle, he’s always been different.”
Justin opened his mouth, but before he could speak, I said, “I assume you’re going to say something really nice about me right now, so thank you in advance.”
He closed his mouth immediately.
“Morgan knew it,” Randall continued. “Better than anyone, I think. He—there was something about the two of them together. Morgan, he—well. It gave him purpose. Morgan was… alone for a very long time. Not without purpose, no, because he had his role as the King’s Wizard. But I—I failed him. I became convinced that becoming solitary was the only way to deal with my grief. I should have gone about it a different way. But I didn’t, and things changed.” He smiled sadly. “And then Vadoma came to him, and it gave him a reason. It drove him, and though it pained Morgan greatly to know Sam was in the slums, he still took his role seriously. The day he…. The day in the alley when Sam first exhibited his propensity for magic was, I think, the greatest day of his life.”
I looked away, swallowing thickly. Ryan curled his hand around my elbow, a solid presence offering me comfort.
“But in the end, Morgan fell,” Letnia said. “Even he couldn’t stand up to Myrin. And we’re supposed to trust Sam to do what he could not?”
I snapped my head up, snarling in her direction. “If I could be half the wizard Morgan was, then I would consider myself lucky. He sacrificed himself for me. He believed in me, and I’m not going to let him down. I’m going to defeat Myrin. I don’t care what it takes.”
“Even if it means the death of your cornerstone?” Letnia shot back.
I went for her, but Ryan held me back. Lucky for her.
“That’s right,” Letnia snapped. “We know all about the prophecy now. Everything you kept hidden from us that day in Mama’s office in Meridian City. You kept secrets from us, secrets that could have helped us. What you’re capable of. The bird in the forest. And then you ran after Morgan died for you—”
“Letnia,” Mama barked, “shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”