I batted my eyelashes at him. “All by my lonesome. Why, when I left the farm to head for the big city to be a Dark, I never thought I’d get so turned around. Those buildings are so massive.”
Dark Three laughed cruelly. His teeth were crooked and yellowed, and he smelled like badly aged cheese. “Do you like other things that are massive?”
“Why, whatever do you mean?” I asked, hand at my throat. “What else here could possibly be massive to li’l ol’ me?”
Dark the Fourth took a step toward me. “What’s your wizarding name, darlin’?”
On the spot! Ye gods! “Purity of the Blushing Virgins,” I blurted.
They gaped at me.
I heard wheezing behind me.
I winked at the Darks, hoping it would be enough to make their underwear fall off, tangle in their legs, and make them fall down and hit their heads and die.
It wasn’t.
I was disappointed in myself.
Dark Two popped his hairy knuckles. “Purity of the Blushing Virgins,” he repeated. “How. About. That.”
“Yes,” I breathed. “How about that. I, of course, didn’t choose that name for myself. Why, it was given to me by the monk where I lived.”
“The monk?” Dark One asked. “Thought you came from a farm, not a monastery.”
They could remember things! Curses! “Yes, exactly. The farm. It was a monk farm. Where the monks… farmed. And. Um. They adopted me? Yes, they adopted me after I was found in the woods as a child, and took me in. I worked their farm and kept myself pure and untainted because I wanted to make sure I remained… intact, and save it for the man I loved.” I licked my lips. “Or maybe four men I met on a dark road near a castle.”
They exchanged looks before turning back to me and grinning. Dark Three said, “Well, we seem to have found ourselves in a situation to help make all your dreams come true. Especially the wet ones.”
“Why, I suppose we have,” I said as my dick shriveled and my balls crawled back into my body. “Whatever shall we do with such a situation?”
Dark the Fourth grabbed his crotch and leered. “I’m sure we can find out. Why don’t you come a little closer so we can… get to know each other better?”
I didn’t think he was talking about tea and conversation. “But I’m so scared,” I whimpered. “Will it hurt?”
“Only a lot,” Dark One promised. “But after a while, you’ll be so stuffed, you won’t even remember your own name.”
“Ugh,” I said, grimacing. “I mean, ohhhh. Yes. That’s exactly what I want. I have so many holes to put things in. Tell me, will you treat me right?”
“Probably not,” Dark Three said. “But a pretty young thing like yourself can take it, don’t you think?”
“Sweet molasses,” I breathed as they got closer. “I might not have thought this through entirely.” And before they could reach for me, I cried, “Wait!”
They stopped, eyeing me hungrily.
“Before I do such a thing, I must go to confession!”
They eyed me a little less hungrily after that. “Confession?” Dark Two asked.
“Yes,” I babbled. “Confession. I must confess my sins to the gods before I give myself unto you and your manhoods. I ask that you meet me at church and sit with me while I confess before I let you fill me with what I expect to be extremely potent love juice.”
Dark the Fourth frowned. “That sounds like… a lot of work.”
“Ohh,” I said, rubbing my hand along my torso and neck. “I can promise you it’ll be worth it.” I accidentally poked myself in the eye. “Ow. Fuck. Ignore that part. Why, I do declare that I can’t wait to ride each of you in turn while the others stand and stroke themselves around me.”
“To the church!” Dark One cried.
“But we can’t leave our post,” Dark Two argued. “You know we could get in trouble.”