The noise I made at that exact moment will not be described in detail here. Suffice it to say, I didn’t regret it one bit, even if everyone in my immediate vicinity turned to stare at me, as if they couldn’t believe such a sound could have come from a human being.
“That was amazing,” I said excitedly. “I knew he loved me more than anything else in the entire world. He just needed to be coerced into saying it by—”
“Ahem,” Justin said, glaring down at me. “Sam? If you don’t mind?”
I stared back up at him, confused. “Why would I mind? Justin, that was the greatest thing—”
“You need to go give your speech,” Ryan whispered to me.
“Oh. Oh. Riiiight. That. You know what? I’m good. Thanks, though.”
“Kevin,” Justin said.
“On it, boss man.” And then the traitorous dragon plucked me up from where I stood.
“Boss man,” I screeched, outraged. “You turncoat. I’m your boss man! Me! Sam of Dragons. Unhand me now, you vile creature!”
“He’s so loud for such a small thing,” Kevin said. “But as you wish.”
He set me down on the stage in front of the crowd of hundreds.
Instant stress sweat.
“Wow,” I whispered to Justin. “Did you know your bowels can loosen almost instantaneously? I didn’t know that until right this second.”
“I said the thing,” he growled back at me. “Now give the best speech you’ve ever given in your life.”
“I’ve never given any speech!”
“Well, here’s a good place to start.”
“Justin, why would you—where are you going? Are you leaving me up here by myself? Why would you do that to your best friend 5eva? You know what? I revoke that title. You are not—ah, man, I can’t do that to you. You’d be crushed. Never mind! Justin! Never mind! You are still my best friend 5eva!”
Someone in the crowd coughed quite pointedly. Like an asshole.
And then something remarkable happened.
Ryan Foxheart, the most dashing and immaculate Knight Commander that had ever existed, started to clap.
Slowly.
In the history of his lifetime, he had never started a slow clap.
He thought they were stupid.
But here he was, doing it just for me.
“I’m going to do you so gross later,” I threatened him under my breath. “Your asshole is going to be gaping.”
Tiggy, with his bits and bobs still hanging out, picked up on what Ryan was doing and began to clap along with him. Kevin started next. Gary followed by scraping the ground with his front left hoof. My parents joined in.
And it was like the dam broke after that.
Soon the entire camp was applauding me, even Lady Tina and Vadoma, though they didn’t seem to be very enthusiastic. I chalked that up to the fact that I hated them.
I now understood why people stood in front of others.
“I am so powerful,” I whispered. “Yes, love me. Love me.”