“Where is my invitation?” Kevin asked.
“Got lost,” Gary said breezily. “How sad. Moving on.”
“What? Damn mailman. I shall see him between my teeth.”
“Well, you should have thought of that before you chased this hot piece of ass into the forest. Speaking of, Sam. Have I ever told you that I can open my mouth really, really wide? It’s almost like I can unhinge my jaw. And I don’t have a gag reflex.”
“He doesn’t,” Kevin said sadly, wings drooping. “It’s one of the things I like about him. Other than his heart.”
“Don’t you dare try and make me swoon, Kevin. Shit list. You are covered in it.”
“Worst reunion ever,” I muttered.
THERE WAS yet another gathering at the gates, and I wondered if these people had nothing better to do all day than gawk. It didn’t help that I was unsure how Ryan and Justin would react. I told myself to be ready in case they walked up to the gates hand in hand, staring deeply into each other’s eyes, laughing at inside jokes only they got. I’d be the spurned wife left holding a child on each hip, looking at Ryan and Justin in all their happiness. My heart would shrivel in bitterness, and I would begin to spiral into madness. The children would be taken away from me, and Ryan and Justin would raise them. Eventually, six years down the road, I would be caught up in a spiderweb of lies and deceit, standing over Justin’s body after he’d been poisoned eating pumpkin soup, sobbing and asking if Ryan was happy now, that he made me do this, he made me kill my best friend 5eva and—
“Whoa,” I whispered. “I’m slightly psychotic. That’s not a revelation I expected at this juncture.”
“What was that?” Gary asked.
“Oh nothing. Just making plans to make sure Ryan loves me forever.”
“Creepy,” Tiggy whispered.
“That’s what happens when you become a wizard,” Gary explained patiently. “Sam is no longer adorable. He has bushy eyebrows and—”
“I forgot to pluck!” I wailed, covering my face. “How could you let me out into public looking like this?”
“I thought we were just ignoring it in hopes that it went away.”
“Okay,” I said. “New idea. I run, and Ryan and Justin live happily ever after with my babies—”
“Nice try,” Gary said, pushing my back with his head, forcing me through the crowd. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to witness this?”
“Don’t you dare say eleven—”
“Eleven months. You won’t deprive me of drama when it is so readily available. It has been absolutely dreadful without your carriage wreck of a life. Who do you think feeds my need for the dramatics? Tiggy?”
“I ain’t no cheap trick,” Tiggy said, much to my consternation.
“I taught him that,” Gary said proudly.
“Great,” I said. “Fantastic. Glad to be of help.”
“You shut your bitch mouth,” Gary snarled. Then he blinked. “Yikes. Sorry about that. Apparently I’m still slightly angry with you. Strange how that works, you do something without me and then come back like it was nothing.”
“You don’t need to—” But then Gary pushed me into someone. Before I could apologize for Gary’s ridiculous behavior, I saw who I’d stumbled against.
She turned to scowl at me, holding her head high. “Of course it was you.”
“Lady Tina,” I said. “How unfortunate that you didn’t pass beyond the veil overnight. I expected more from you.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” she said primly, the Foxy Lady Brigade standing at attention behind her, facing the gates. “I was too busy protecting what remains of the proud country of Verania.”
“Yesssss,” Gary hissed. “This is what I’ve missed. Cut each other with semi-thought-out barbs. Fight to the death!”
We stared at him.
He didn’t even have the decency to look chagrined. I loved him even more for it.