But somehow, I was able to do it.
With Vince’s help, of course.
And then he dragged me off the stage and for the last time as an unmarried man, I got a sloppy blowjob in the men’s room of Jack It from Vince as he jacked his cock while on his knees. He came on the floor. I came on his face.
It was the most romantic moment of my life.
Chapter Six: The Heart of the Homo Jock King
March 25, 2016
T-Minus 1 Day
I GLARED at Sandy, Darren, and Corey as they stood outside our house. I refused to let them in, even as Vince was chuckling behind me. I could deal with him later.
Wheels, probably knowing how annoyed his owner was, rolled up next to me and growled at the three of them.
“You’re not taking him away,” I growled. “Now get off my lawn before I use my right as an American citizen to shoot you in the kneecap.”
“You don’t have a gun,” Sandy said, rolling his eyes.
“Vince bought a nail gun,” I said. “We’re tool owners because we’re men and we do construction projects on stuff.”
“Paul’s not allowed to use it,” Vince said. “He almost shot a bird on accident and then he cried about it because he thought it was considered attempted murder.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side,” I snapped over my shoulder.
And then, completely unfairly, he said, “I’m always on your side.” He put his hand on my back and rubbed it in a slow circle. “And I always will be.”
“You three stay right there,” I said, pointing my finger at the interlopers. They looked amused as I slammed the door in their faces and turned around to maul my man for being so goddamn awesome. He grunted as I crashed into him and laughed in my face when I slobbered on his chin, but it quickly turned heated when my tongue found his. He groaned and pressed me up against the door, rolling his hips.
“God,” I gasped as he started gnawing on my neck. “This is just swell.”
There was a pounding on the door behind me. “You better not be giving him a hickey!” Sandy shouted. “Vince, I swear to God that if you mark him up and it shows up in the photos, I will ensure the rest of your life is a living hell, you understand me?”
“Quick,” I said. “Pull my shirt collar down and suck on my shoulder. I wanna have a mark.”
He did just that.
When I was properly satisfied by his level of commitment, I pushed him away, wiped my lips, and opened the door again.
“You’re disgusting,” Sandy said, eyeing me up and down. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to walk in on you and Vince this week alone? Jesus, Paul. You should be chafing by now. It’s going to fall off if you keep this up, you know. That’s a fact backed by medical science. I heard it on NPR.”
“You don’t listen to NPR,” Darren said.
Sandy turned slowly to look at Darren, who didn’t look repentant in the slightest. The Homo Jock King was growing on me. “I’m sorry,” Sandy said pleasantly. “I didn’t know that you were asked your opinion.”
Darren snorted. “Notice how that wasn’t an opinion. It was based in fact.” And then he leaned forward and pressed a swift kiss to Sandy’s forehead, causing Sandy to sputter.
“Yeah,” Corey muttered. “I’m so glad I came for this. Please, all of you. Continue being gross.”
“One day you’ll find someone who makes you as happy as Paul makes me,” Vince said earnestly. “I just know it.”
I tried to slam the door in their faces so I could make out with him some more (because no one could resist Vince Taylor saying something sweet like that and not want to stick their hand down the front of his jeans to jerk him off a little bit), but Sandy shouldered his way in, ignoring the way I squawked in outrage as I stumbled against Vince.
“Trespassers!” I hissed. “Vince! Hand me my phone so I can call and have these people arrested for entering my dwelling without permission.”
“I’ll enter your dwelling anytime you want,” Vince said, waggling his eyebrows.