I started to back away toward the door. “Hey, that’s great. Thanks. It’s nice of you to say. And don’t worry about Griffin or people like him. They’re a dime a dozen. It’ll all work out. You’ll see.” I turned toward the door, and my hand was on the doorknob when he spoke again.
“Do you see me?”
I hung my head. I didn’t know what was going on. I’d heard what he said to Marina. He’d made his thoughts perfectly clear. And yet here we were, and it was confusing. My heart felt like it was stuck in a vise being twisted tight. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t like being fucked with.
“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “I see you. Christ, I see you.”
I didn’t hear him move. One moment I thought he was still at his desk, and the next his hand was on my shoulder. I tensed, and even as he pulled me gently to turn around, I still thought about pulling the door open and—
Kissing Jeremy Olsen wasn’t a revelation. It wasn’t an explosion of light in a dream that I never wanted to wake up from. It was his beard scraping against my chin. It was our teeth clacking together. It was awkward and dry until we turned our heads just right. It was his hand on the back of my neck, the sharp breaths through his nose. He opened his mouth slightly, and I felt the swipe of his tongue on my bottom lip.
It was real. All of this was real.
It wasn’t long. It was seconds at most. But it devastated me. He devastated me. It shattered me into pieces, and it was everything I thought it would be and nothing I expected.
He was warm, and he tasted like the amber liquid he’d been sipping at dinner.
I never wanted it to stop.
But it did. Of course it did.
He broke the kiss first, pulling away before putting his forehead against mine.
We were both panting.
“Shit,” he breathed. “Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“But you did,” I said, my voice cracking. “You did.”
The tip of his nose brushed against mine. “I know. And I thought… I don’t know what I thought.”
He took a step back, dropping his hand to his side. His eyes were wide and shocked, like he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. I waited to see regret.
There was none. I wasn’t ready for it.
I turned and opened the door. I shut it behind me and slumped against it, trying to catch my breath. I felt the door shift behind me and knew he was still there. Waiting.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
“I can hear you,” he muttered. His voice was muffled, but his words were clear. I looked up to see the window above the door propped open.
“Yeah,” I managed to say. “I can hear you too. Why did you do that?”
He hesitated. The door shifted again, and I thought his back was to it like mine. “Because I wanted to. More than anything.”
My thoughts were swirling in my head. “But you said… I heard you….” I slid down to the floor, my legs feeling like jelly.
“Heard what?”
I thumped my head on the door, trying to clear my thoughts. “A couple of days ago. After the meeting with Marina. You told her you weren’t interested in me. That I was too young.”
He groaned. “Shit. How the hell did you—”
“The vent in your office. There’s one in ours. You can hear almost everything.” I winced. “I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t trying to listen in. But I heard you say my name, and then….”
Look. Corey is… my friend. Yes, I’m his boss, and yes, we socialize outside of work, but that’s all it is. Fuck, Marina. He’s barely older than any of the kids out there. I wouldn’t do that.
“Oh,” Jeremy said.