Swim Deep - Page 111

His stroking fingertips stilled on my face.

“That’s what Noah told me yesterday before you burst into the room. He seemed certain,” I said.

His frigid gaze thawed in an instant. I saw a fire spark where the cold desolation had been.

“That fucking bastard.” He started shaking his head furiously. “No. No. No, Anna. You have to believe me, that’s a complete impossibility.” I felt him shudder. He put his hand over his face. “Oh God, that’s what you’ve been thinking? You’ve been imagining that I was… ”

Another shudder went through him. He grabbed my shoulders.

“Anna, listen to me. I never once considered you could be my child. Never once.”

“But you knew Elizabeth lied—”

“I knew you couldn’t be my child because I never slept with Elizabeth until I was seventeen years old,” he shouted.

I paused with my mouth hanging open.

“The private investigators I hired had told me your date of birth,” Evan said. “Later, I saw your birth certificate with my own eyes. The dates didn’t match up, Anna. If they had, maybe I would have had the crazy, unlikely suspicion of paternity. But they didn’t. I would have had to have had sex with Elizabeth when I was thirteen or fourteen years old—”

“And you didn’t?”

“No. God, no. I know I told you that Elizabeth and I were close, and we were. But I thought you understood that it was innocent at first. Our relationship as kids was platonic. I think Elizabeth wanted to keep it that way. She could relate to me differently than all the other men in her life. Anna?” His hands tightened on my shoulders. “Do you believe me?”

I stared up at him. The wild sincerity in his eyes struck me like a lightning bolt. But I couldn’t believe him entirely. Because I’d learned I couldn’t trust my own instincts.

“Yes,” I said.

Why did I lie? I suppose it was the same, obvious answer. I loved him, no matter what. I couldn’t bear seeing his pain.

“I didn’t understand,” he said thickly. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine. He cradled my face in his hands, rocking me gently. “God, I’m sorry, Anna. I knew you were horrified and traumatized, but I thought it was because you were worried it was Noah—”

“All I could think of… ” All I can think of. “Was what if it was true? What if I’d slept with my own father. Fallen in love with him?”

“Do you see?” Evan entreated desperately, his stare willing me to believe him. “Do you see why I warned you? Noah lies. He lies to control. He lies to hurt. Please don’t let him in, Anna. Please.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

That night, I finally fell into a dreamless sleep in Evan’s arms.

In the morning, I awoke feeling blessedly numb. I told Evan I was feeling claustrophobic, and that I needed to get out of the hotel room. I saw the whites of his eyes showing as he looked around at my declaration. I could tell that he was still worried about me to the point that he was having difficulty focusing on anything else.

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

“No. I’m going alone. I’ll be back in an hour. I’m fine. I feel much better today. Talking last night helped. I just need some fresh air and a little exercise.”

I saw him considering, searching for reasons why I shouldn’t go. Obviously, he couldn’t come up with anything. I wasn’t an invalid or a prisoner.

“Take your cell phone, in case you need me for anything,” he said, handing me a card key for the hotel room. I put it in my purse. I’d already secreted his car keys in there, while he’d been in the shower earlier. I wasn’t sure if I would use them to make an escape or not.

I just wanted those keys, like a safety line. In case the sheer panic hit me again.

Even though I’d stolen the keys, part of me knew I wouldn’t go. Not until I’d heard the truth about the genetic testing, anyway. I left the suite, determined to ignore the worry I sensed pouring off of Evan. There was nothing I could do to comfort him besides tell the lie again that I was fine.

That I believed him.

The sun and cool air revived me a little. I distracted myself by browsing through some of the luxury shops on the bottom floor of the hotel and walking along the beachfront. I temporarily forgot the car keys in my purse. For a few blessed minutes, I didn’t think about escape, or Evan, or Noah, or the fact that I wasn’t my parents’ biological child… Or the horror of Elizabeth leaping out of my dreams and from inside of my head into the concrete reality of the hotel room last night.

Thankfully, that insulated cocoon that made me into the equivalent of a walking, talking zombie stayed with me when I returned to the hotel room forty-five minutes later.

Tags: Beth Kery Romance
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