He blinked and focused on my face. He’d been so lost in his thoughts, it was like he’d forgotten our conversation. Forgotten my presence.
“I don’t know for certain. I called when she didn’t arrive at the restaurant, but she wouldn’t answer her cell.”
“Was that common? For her to just change her mind like that? Take off without telling anyone?”
“She was fiercely independent… or at least she liked to believe she was. She wanted to be in control of her own destiny so much. So yes. Because of that, Elizabeth could be very erratic at times.”
I thought it was a strange thing to say. He must have noticed my confused expression.
“Elizabeth was trying to decide what she wanted in her life during that time period. Things had been rocky in our marriage. We’d become estranged. Elizabeth was trying to decide about her future. About who she wanted in it.” He picked up his wineglass and took a swallow.
“And then she came to Tahoe and disappeared,” I said. I was trying to absorb the fact that he and Elizabeth had been estranged, wondering where that piece of crucial information fit into the whole equation.
There had been a hint of wistfulness in his tone when he spoke of her. Despite the fact that Elizabeth and he hadn’t been getting along, Evan clearly had hoped she would choose him to be part of her future.
Evan’s gaze sharpened on me. He set down his wineglass so hard, the crystal rang.
“This is why I didn’t want to discuss it with you.”
“What?” I asked, taken aback by his blazing stare.
“You’re as white a ghost,” he said, standing abruptly. “Let me get you some water.”
“I don’t need water,” I protested, flying up from my chair as well. I grabbed his forearm, halting him. “Evan, I’m fine. Why do you always treat me like I’m so fragile, when clearly I’m not? Was Elizabeth delicate? Is that why you always jump to that conclusion?”
He winced. “Why are we even talking about Elizabeth?”
“Because we just found out that her parents are living next to us,” I replied just as heatedly. “Because I’m trying to figure out why you would want to stay here, given everything you found out today! And the only thing you seem concerned about is that I’m going to shatter like a piece of dropped china.”
His mouth pressed into a flat line. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my choppy breathing.
“Why would you want to live here, knowing they’re next door?” I asked, forcing my voice into a calm, even tone. He was keeping things from me. I understood that instinctively, but imagined that he did so because he didn’t want to burden me. Hurt me.
Or maybe I just wished that.
“We won’t ever see them, Anna. Madaster is in a wheelchair. He can’t even leave the house… unless it’s by ambulance.”
“That’s not an answer, Evan.”
He raked his fingers through his thick hair. For a few brief seconds, he looked alarmingly distraught. But then he dropped his hands to his sides and gave a little bark of exasperation.
“Something was taken from me, Anna. Maybe things won’t ever be the same.” He gave me quick, fierce glance. “I don’t want them to be the same. I want a whole new chapter. But I don’t want to run away from this place, either.” He turned to me, grasping my elbows and pulling me into his body. “I want to stay, but I’ll go if it’s what you want.”
“I’m not sure what I want.”
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I had the impression you were coming to love it here. That you’d fallen under the spell of this place.”
“It’s true,” I admitted uneasily. “It’s the most beautiful place in the world. I wake up here every morning freshly amazed that I actually live here.”
“Would it really bother you that much? To stay? The residences are completely separate. There’s no connection, like there used to be. I made sure of that. You understand that, don’t you? Madaster can’t touch you.”
I gasped in surprise. “Touch me? You make it sound like he’d want to hurt me.”
“I just mean that you won’t ever have to deal with them. You won’t ever have t
o lay eyes on him. This is our home. I hate the idea of him running us off it.”
He looked so intent… so desperate for me to understand. But I sensed he wasn’t giving me all the pieces to completely comprehend. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, on his part? He was just so caught up in the private world of his own memories and motivations, he didn’t even realize he left me alone in the dark half of the time.