But then, abruptly and unexpectedly, the ride slowed.
“Everything you’ve told me so far is a bunch of bullshit, and you know it. You’re marrying this guy after knowing him for three months? And all I get is this ‘charming, incredible, unbelievable’ crap? You make it sound like you fell in love with Prince-Fucking-Charming. It’s like you’re nine all over again, crushing over Justin Timberlake.”
It was my sister’s muttered words resounding from next to me in the passenger seat that put the brakes on that golden rollercoaster ride. Strangely, the car I was driving continued to glide forward at a silent, modest sixty miles an hour.
“You crushed over Justin Timberlake, not me.”
“Liar. You always did have the heart of a romantic beneath all those black, artsy clothes you wore all the time. Seriously, Anna. Tell me what’s going on!”
Sunlight streamed in on the right side of the car, illuminating Jessica’s face. Despite her ballsy tone, her appearance was that of an angel—albeit an earthy, approachable one, like one of those voluptuous creatures in that painting by Burne-Jones we studied once in History of Art.
“The Golden Stairs,” I muttered, recalling the name of the angel painting.
“What?” Jessica demanded, her perfect face screwing up in consternation. “You’re acting weird. Mom and Dad are worried about you, you know.”
I glanced uneasily to the backseat. My mom was passed out cold, her cheek on my father’s chest, her head rising and falling to the cadence of my dad’s soft snore. Mom’s face was an older, more interesting version of Jessica’s.
“Ambien,” Jessica said in a clipped tone before she popped two Tic Tacs in her mouth. “Mom got them from her doctor. She’s been nervous about flying lately. I guess Dad decided he didn’t want to miss out on the party, and took one too. They’ll be out until we reach his Highness’s castle, at the very least. I doubt the news of your sudden wedding helped Mom’s anxiety much.”
“Don’t be such a bitch, Jess,” I said, but there was no heat in my tone. Jessica wasn’t being unkind, not really. Knowing her as well as I did, I understood she was in a state of frantic curiosity and concern. I hadn’t done much to help soothe her in the past two weeks…
Ever since Evan and I had called all three of them and announced the news of our engagement.
It was just so hard to put what had happened to me—what was still happening—into words. I sensed Jessica next to me as I drove, waiting with increasing impatience and worry. She wanted to understand, but she couldn’t. As long as she didn’t understand, I was like a stranger to her, and she to me. That’s what was causing Jessica’s sharp tone.
“It’s really been more like four months since Evan and I first started talking, you know,” I said lamely. I glanced over and saw Jessica’s rising irritation: the wrath of an angel.
“What do you want me to tell you? It’d probably be best if you just meet Evan. Then you’ll understand. He really is amazing.”
“I don’t care if he’s the Second Coming,” Jessica said petulantly, slouching in her seat and distractedly petting the supple leather of the cushion. Despite her uneasiness over this whole situation, my little sister couldn’t help but admire the uncustomary trappings of luxury. Evan had given me his Mercedes to pick up my family at the airport, while he and Tommy and Ellen Higoshi had gone ahead to Tiburon to prepare things for guests and the upcoming wedding. My family, Tommy and Ellen would be the entire guest list for the small ceremony.
At first, I’d been taken aback at the idea of so few guests, especially when I understood that Evan’s parents wouldn’t be there. But Evan had explained that his father was recovering from a surgery. His doctor didn’t want him to fly, and his mother didn’t want to leave him alone.
In a roundabout way, I’d managed to get the idea that Evan had hated his first wedding: the elaborate details, the hundreds of guests he barely knew, and the artificiality of it all. I knew him well enough by now to understand how much he despised inauthenticity, so I agreed to the small ceremony in the natural setting. I didn’t need hundreds of people telling me how happy I was to know I was ecstatic.
Last night had been the first night I’d spent away from Evan in the past six weeks. Did that have something to do with the abrupt halt of the dream-ride, or had it been the appearance of my mom and dad, practical, down-to-earth, Dick and Amanda Solas from Oak Park, Illinois?
“I honestly don’t know what more to tell you about him than I have—”
“I don’t care about him,” Jessica growled loudly. She grimaced and glanced into the backseat, clearly worried she’d awakened one or both of our parents. “I care about how he makes you feel. What would make you act this insane, Anna?”
I gripped the wheel tighter, searching for an answer.
“Evan gets me,” I finally said. “He sees me.” I glanced aside and see Jessica’s puzzlement. No cheeky remark this time. She was interested, at least.
I inhaled. “Remember that painting I showed you when you guys visited two summers ago, and we went to the SFMOMA?”
Jessica rolled her eyes. She didn’t have to reply. I knew she didn’t recall. Like my father, who was a corporate lawyer, Jessica was all about numbers and practicalities. She’d graduated from the University of Wisconsin this spring with a business degree, and planned to get her MBA from the University of Illinois starting in the fall.
“All right. So you don’t remember. I thought you wanted me to give you an idea of why I’m acting insane, as you so nicely put it.”
“I do,” Jessica said.
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t do that with a pie chart or statistical analysis, Jess.”
“You’re right,” she said quickly, sounding a little contrite. “I’m listening. Go on. But don’t just tell me about some boring painting. Tell me how the hell you two matched up, and I’m not just talking about on that dating site.”
So I tried to shed some light on what my family obviously considered a case of my early onset madness.