“He’s not.”
She averted her gaze, a little stunned by her outburst of honesty. She realized for the first time just how true it was. When she was with Eric, she was totally absorbed by him, whether he was pricking her temper or kissing her until she couldn’t think straight. It wasn’t as if he blocked Darin out of her mind. Darin was still there, a warm, happy memory she cherished.
But it was Eric who dominated her thoughts in the present.
“I see,” Eric said slowly, although his tone made her think he really didn’t see at all but was too polite to risk treading on the delicate topic of her dead husband. It wasn’t really fair to leave him completely in the dark, always stumbling around, walking on eggshells around her, was it?
“Darin was a wonderful man. He was there for me at a time in my life when I most needed him.
I’ll always be thankful for that. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with.”
Eric’s massaging fingers stilled in the crook of her neck and shoulder. She looked into his face warily. She couldn’t believe she’d just said that. It had sort of erupted out of her.
“I thought you should know,” she said lamely.
His stunned expression faded. He nodded and resumed massaging her. She curled farther into him, highly aware of his presence, his hardness, his warmth. She found herself fiddling with his silk tie. Her hand strayed to his chest. She stroked him, fascinated by the sensation of hard, corded muscle beneath his dress shirt.
“And that’s because you cared so much about him?” he asked in a tone that struck her as deliberately neutral. Or was it strained?
“Of course I cared about Darin, but I don’t know if I avoided men since he died because of that or not,” she said, feeling a little helpless because she didn’t know the answer herself. “I never cared enough for anyone else since Darin died to even think about the topic.”
“Colleen…”
“Yes?” she asked, distracted by the feeling of his muscles beneath her fingertips and the way he was staring at her mouth.
“You’re killing me. You know that, don’t you?”
“I don’t mean to.”
“I think that might be what’s killing me the most,” he growled softly before he slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her to him. His mouth covered hers. Colleen melted into his kiss. Everything about him—the feeling of his hard male body, his scent, his taste—delighted her. He knew how to kiss her just the way she liked it—firm and demanding at times, playful and teasing at others, nipping at her lips gently, making her hungry, coaxing her into becoming the aggressor.
He groaned when she did just that, framing his jaw with her hands and sending her tongue into his mouth, submerging herself in his heat and taste.
There was something so elementally right about him.
All of her doubts about whether or not it was a mistake to get involved with Eric faded under the power of his kiss and stroking hands. She forgot her worries about the kids and whether or not she was opening them up for hurt by allowing them to get attached to Eric. Her fears about her own vulnerable heart disappeared as desire surged through it, making it pump fast and strong.
“I’m not going to be able to hold out much longer,” he mumbled a while later as she plucked at his lips and he held her rib cage in his large, splayed hands. “Did you make your rational decision yet?”
“What?” Colleen asked between feverish kisses.
“Your decision. You know…” He paused and delved his fingers into her long hair. He clutched and tugged back gently, stretching her throat back. She moaned softly in protest because the position prevented her from ravishing his mouth more. Perhaps that was his plan, however, because he proceeded to devour her exposed neck, making her tremble in excitement. “The one about wanting more…with me?”
“Oh,” she gasped when his mouth lowered and he kissed the exposed skin on her chest. His hands shifted from her back, cradling her ribs just below the fullness of her breasts. His lips followed the trail of the neckline of her sweater, awakening her nerve endings, making her nipples tighten. Heat flooded her.
“Colleen?” he prompted, lifting his head and spearing her with a smoky stare.
“I…I’m very close to making my decision.”
“Good,” he muttered. “Let me see if I can’t be a bit more persuasive.” He dipped his dark head again and resumed tasting her skin. Colleen sighed in pleasure. He lifted his head a moment later and grabbed her hand. He placed it on his chest.
“I liked you touching me,” he said. “Do it more. Please.”
She acquiesced without hesitation, eager to comply. He leaned toward her again, his gaze fixed hungrily on her mouth, but he paused suddenly, his attention captured by her stroking hand. For some reason, his focused gaze made her all that much more aware of her hand on his chest, her exploration of dense, lean muscle. He leaned back on the couch, and they both watched as her fingertips slid over his right nipple. She explored the tiny, turgid button of flesh, fascinated by the feeling of it through his cotton shirt.
He leaned his head back on the couch and hissed softly. He covered her stroking hand with his own and moved it down over his ribs. She explored the sensations and textures of him there just as enthusiastically, captivated by his focus on her, feeling his heart beating more rapidly beneath her moving hand.
She laid her cheek on his chest and reached between two buttons. He made a rough, muffled sound in his throat when she touched smooth, warm skin. She’d thought he’d move or say something, but instead he remained completely still as she stroked his ribs, as though her touch had put him under a spell. She felt his skin roughen and felt her power over him in every cell of her being.