“That’s not fair! What exactly would you have me do, Asher? You’re here for another week. Do you want me to drive you up to my parents’ house and explain to them how we’re sleeping together every chance we get, because apparently we have no self-control when it comes to each other?”
“No,” he bellowed so abruptly, she gasped in surprise. He exhaled and closed his eyes. “All I was saying before,” he said in a quieter, strained voice, “is that I was surprised you were so honest with Rafe about how you felt about me.” He opened his eyes and met her stare. “I was surprised you were so open with me. I didn’t mean to start a fight. I shouldn’t have said that about the curtain. I just meant that you can be careful at times, Laila. Part of you is always a bit of a mystery to me. Uncommitted. Unavailable. A little bit of you is always veiled.”
The burning in her eyes amplified. “I honestly don’t know why you feel that way. I’ve told you how much I regretted cutting all ties with you. You must know I’m crazy about you. I care about you in a way that I can’t completely put into words, but I feel it here,” she said, pushing her fist against her chest. “I feel it so much, I ache with it, Asher.”
“I do know that,” he said starkly. “But I also know you walked away.”
A pocket of air popped out of her throat. She looked up at the ceiling, helplessness nearly choking off her voice. “You’re never going to forgive me for that, are you?”
“Yes,” he stated emphatically, coming toward her and grasping her shoulders. “I think I have forgiven you. There was probably nothing to forgive. You were a teenager, for Christ’s sake. I get that. I understand the expectations a Moroccan Muslim family would have for their young daughter. But I’m talking about right now. You still have it in you to walk away, Laila.”
“I’m not walking away! I’m right. Here,” she told him with succinct fierceness. She reached up and grabbed his dense biceps, squeezing them for emphasis. “If you want me, then here I am. What more can I do or say?”
A shudder coursed through his tense features. “I wish I could stop it, but I can’t. Ana kan bghik bezaf, gulbi ki darni.”
She winced in pain. Tears jetted down her cheeks. He’d said it better than her, both what she was feeling and what he was. I want you so much, my heart hurts. She’d never taught him that entire phrase in Darija. He’d learned it in the years they’d been apart. Somehow, she knew he’d learned and remembered it because of her. She began to tremble.
“Asher.”
They crashed together, their mouths battling, surrendering; their bodies straining. They fell onto the bed a moment later, clawing to rid each other of their clothing. Laila had the strangest sense of déjà vu. She didn’t understand why that was until after the storm of need had raged between them and left them exhausted and spent in each other’s arms.
It had reminded her of their intense anxiety once, long ago in Crescent Bay. They’d argued, and she’d expressed how confused she was. How torn. They’d made love wildly afterward. They’d been so mindless with desperation . . . so fearful of loss.
They’d been right to be scared. They’d been split apart within hours.
“It’s different now, Asher,” she whispered next to his neck. She raised her chin and saw that his eyes were open, and that he was watching her. “Please let it be different for us.”
He lifted his hand and cupped her face in that tender, focused way he had. She felt her heart swell and ache.
“I’ll let it be any way you want it to be, as long as you agree that there’s an us.”
“There will always be an us,” she promised in a choked voice before she pressed her lips to his.
Chapter Twenty-four
Asher awoke with a start. Sunlight streamed between the edges of the closed curtains. Someone was knocking persistently on the front door in the distance. He felt Laila rustle next to him, her silky, naked skin and long hair sliding against him. His body flickered with pleasure. Flashes of memory trickled across his consciousness, dragging emotion along with it. He delved his fingers into her long, unbound hair and cupped the back of her head.
“Asher?” she whispered sleepily.
He pressed his lips to her temple.
“It’s okay, beautiful. I’ll get it. Just relax.” He reluctantly released her, carefully covering her bare shoulders with the blanket. He slid along the mattress, getting out on his side of the bed.
Was he surprised when he opened the front door a few seconds later to see his mother standing there with a large box in her hands? Not entirely. No matter how bad the fight between them had been the other day, his mother had never missed one of his birthdays.
Besides. A birthday was an excuse to get together and bring him around to her way of thinking.
“Happy birthday,” she said brightly, stepping over the threshold and kissing him on the cheek. “Did I wake you? It’s past ten o’clock.”
“I was up late,” he said, accepting the box she thrust into his hands. “What’s this?”
“Oh, just a little something Lettie made for you.” Lettie had been working in the Winnetka residence as their cook since Asher was eight years old. He should have known his mother wasn’t responsible for the personal gift. “Lettie knows just what you like. She had it all boxed up and ready for you first thing this morning when I came down for breakfast.”
“So you’re here because Lettie remembered it was my birthday and made me a cake,” Asher said dryly, taking the box and walking with it toward the kitchen. He gave a silent nod of respect to Lettie. The cook clearly understood the undercurrents of strain between her employers and their son, despite all of his mother’s constant admonishments to not talk in front of the help. His mother would be floored if she ever actually understood how much the people she employed knew about her personal life.
“That was nice of Lettie,” he said neutrally.
“It wasn’t Lettie’s idea for me to come downtown and wish you a happy birthday,” his mother said as she followed him into the kitchen. He set the cake on the counter. Despite the fact that he didn’t want to, he heard the hint of hurt in his mother’s tone. He turned and kissed her cheek.