I just pulled up at my parents’ house. I promise. I’ll call soon.
A feeling of relief went swept her at his promise, but she was anxious for him too because of the imminent meeting with his parents. She didn’t want to bother him while he was trying to explain his decision to them. Determined to give him space, she set aside her phone.
Since Zara was mad at them, Tahi and she decided to sleep at their own family cottages that night instead of on the sleeping porch. After Laila got into bed, she found herself staring at Mamma Sophia’s empty bed, that increasingly familiar ache expanding in her belly. Her grandmother had been more alert, but very emotional, when Laila had gone to see her that evening. She’d reached for Laila’s hands, beaming at her.
“My little kibdi . . . The light of my life. Beautiful Laila,” Mamma Sophia had uttered quietly in Darija.
A poignant feeling of love unfolded inside Laila at the memory. What would she do without her grandmother? What would Mamma Sophia think, if she knew about Asher . . . about her granddaughter’s lies?
She realized that her hand was moving nervously at her belly. Graphic, erotic images flooded her mind’s eye, memories of her and Asher’s moments at the secret lake this afternoon. She thought of how he’d ignored his own family crisis in order to be with her during hers.
She clamped her thighs together tightly and moaned in misery. What if she was pregnant? It was like a blade in her side, imagining her mother’s bewildered reaction at her secrecy and betrayal. Her father’s. Mamma Sophia’s.
She envisioned their subsequent worry and anguish, and their anger at her betrayal of their trust. It tormented her, considering it. And yet . . . somehow that cutting pain freed her too. Because even though she imagined hurt and disappointment on her family members’ faces, she knew they would see her without blinders on. They would see Laila truly.
They would likely reject her.
The very idea made it hard for her to draw air. Her family was her whole world. The idea of being cut off from them felt like suffocating.
But being without Asher? Well . . . imagining it made her feel as if her heart were freezing in her chest. It would have to turn to ice.
Because otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to stand the pain.
• • •
When she got up the next morning, there was a text from Asher. He said that his mother was insisting they all have lunch before he left for Crescent Bay. They wanted one more opportunity to talk him around to their point of view, but Asher was resolute in his decision. Grimly so. He texted:
I know I’m disappointing them. I hate it. They think they know what’s right for me so well, and that I’m just being stubborn in going against them. But it’s them they know about. Not me.
She’d sensed his loneliness in those words. It made her ache for him.
He wanted to meet with her at the secret lake at four or five o’clock. But Laila was forced to tell him that she wasn’t sure if she could go. There was a possibility Mamma Sophia would come home this afternoon. She wanted to be there to get her grandmother settled, and to support her mother too. Her mom had been energetic and vigilant about Mamma Sophia’s care since the heart attack, but Laila, who knew her so well, sensed how strained and anxious she was beneath he
r smiles. To add to everything, her father had been forced to travel back to Detroit, just for the day, in order to see to an emergency situation in his shop. So he wouldn’t be there to assist her mom.
But won’t your mom’s sister be there to help her with your grandmother? Asher texted.
Yes, but Mamma will want me here. Laila paused in typing, torn. It was so hard to convey to him the elemental bonds of her family.
She started to text: But I’ll do what I can to meet you later . . . if not tonight, then tomorrow. I promise. I’ll get back to you when I know more.
• • •
Mamma Sophia was discharged that afternoon. Everyone pitched in to make her as comfortable as possible. All their efforts must have worked, because Mamma Sophia was fast asleep by five o’clock.
Laila put down the book she’d been reading to her grandmother and turned out the light in their bedroom. Her mother, aunties, Zarif and Tahi were all drinking tea in the kitchen when she entered.
“Have you told Laila yet, Khal-ti Amira?” Tahi asked Laila’s mother. Laila paused next to the table when she saw the anxiety in Tahi’s eyes.
“We’re all going back to Detroit tomorrow,” her mother stated, calmly taking a sip of her tea.
“But . . . but what about Mamma Sophia?” Laila asked, stunned.
“Zarif has kindly arranged for a friend of his—a man who owns a private ambulance service—to transport Mamma Sophia back home. She’ll be much more comfortable at our house, and we need to get her in to see Dr. Boulos,” she said, referring to Mamma Sophia’s regular doctor in Detroit. “Are you sure your friend is doing this as a favor, Zarif? I wouldn’t want you paying for this out of your own pocket.”
“She is my grandmother, you know,” Zarif said, smiling. He noticed Laila’s mom’s intensified worried expression and added quickly, “It’s a favor, Khal-ti Amira. Honest.”
Laila heard all of this through a ringing in her ears. This was it. The end. It had come sooner than she’d thought. She wasn’t prepared—