His anxiety finally penetrated her sated brain. She let him lead her to the water’s edge. They waded in together, the cold water helping to clear her head. He helped her to rinse off. After she’d washed herself as best she could, she turned to face him. The water level was at her neck, but much of his chest was exposed. For a moment, they just stared at each other as they stood in the calm water.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He closed his eyes briefly, and she sensed his intense regret. “Yeah, it was, actually. I was going at you like a madman. It’s not surprising it broke.”
She placed her hand on his chest. She could feel his rapid, strong heartbeat. “I was just as into it as you were. It felt so good.”
Tears stung her eyes when she witnessed his misery. “I wanted to comfort you,” he said, frowning. “Now look at what I did.”
“You did comfort me. You made me forget everything in those moments. It was an accident, Asher. They aren’t supposed to break. You know that.”
“Do you think the timing is right?” he asked her reluctantly.
She blinked. It took her a moment to understand his meaning. No wonder he looked so worried.
“No,” she said after thinking a moment. “I should start my period in a few days.”
He exhaled, looking a little relieved. He grabbed her wrist and pressed the palm of her hand against his lips.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” she whispered, watching him kiss her.
“What?”
“Thinking about being pregnant.”
Her quietly uttered words seemed to hang in the air between them. For a few seconds, she vividly imagined it: a new life growing inside her. A person. A child—Asher’s and hers. There would be no more secrets. A baby would force their hand. It would demand that they burn all their bridges . . . forge a new path toward the future, one where they were together. A flash of euphoria went through her.
His face was rigid with worry. She looked down, averting her eyes. What if he’d read her mind? What if he’d sensed her momentary selfishness? How could she fantasize about something that would be such a nightmare for him and his future? How could she dream about someth
ing that would wound her family so deeply?
He squeezed her hand. “I’m sure you’re not. I don’t think I actually came that much inside you. But if you were—”
“I’m sure I’m not too,” she interrupted him breathlessly. She smiled to cover her unrest. She didn’t want him to feel sorry for her. “It’s stupid, to worry about it, when the chances are so small. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is.” She stared up at the position of the sun behind a bank of clouds.
“I should probably be going. We’ll be going to the hospital in a little while.”
“Laila—”
“It’s okay, Asher,” she said, going up on her tiptoes and kissing his mouth. She didn’t think she could stand it if he apologized again . . . if she saw his regret. “I asked you here because I knew you’d make me feel better. And you did,” she assured him quietly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“That’s all that matters right now,” she said, kissing him once more before she turned and waded to shore.
• • •
Late that afternoon, Tahi plopped down next to her in the hospital waiting room, her cell phone clutched in her hand. Laila’s family was taking turns visiting with Mamma Sophia. The hospital rooms weren’t large, and her grandmother shared hers with another woman. The nurses asked that only two people visit with her at a time. Presently, Laila’s and Tahi’s mothers were in there. Everyone else—including Tahi’s brother Zarif, who had just arrived from Detroit—had gone down to the cafeteria for an early dinner. Laila and Tahi weren’t hungry, though, and had opted to stay in the waiting room.
Tahi glanced over her shoulder, making sure they were alone, before she spoke.
“What did Asher tell you earlier about Eric leaving last night?”
“Nothing. Eric left?” Laila asked, confused.
“Yeah. Rudy just told me. Asher found out this morning. He didn’t say anything when you met?” Tahi knew that Laila had snuck off to see Asher earlier today, before they all planned to leave for the hospital.