I don't understand what's happening, God.
Coldness enveloped her body as she made herself meet Julian's gaze, and oh God, oh God—-
So many things in the past that never used to bother her had suddenly taken a whole different meaning, and it was all Fleur could do not to throw up.
Was this the reason he had been insatiable since last night? Because he had known he would end their contract sooner than expected, and he wanted to make full fucking use of her body before he married another woman?
Was this also the reason, she wondered sickly, why he had been so adamant about wanting to know if she had something to hide? Had he been hoping she would confess about wanting Philippe DeRose so he could then tell her that he was no longer averse to marriage...but had a different bride in mind?
No wonder...
No wonder he had no longer seemed as jealous and possessive when he had seen her with Philippe at the airport earlier.
All this time she had thought he was dying to tell her he loved her, but instead oh God...
Instead, he had been dying to break things off, and oh God, oh God, what a fool she had been.
He had told Jaak he was serious about her, and of course he was. Julian had always been a man of his word, and so of course he would be serious and faithful to her until the end of the contract. He would have been serious about her until the twelfth, except apparently...he could no longer wait that long.
Freddie couldn't believe what she was seeing. Fleur looked like she was just seconds away from breaking down, and yet the way Julian was staring at her friend made it seem like he was completely blind to the other woman's despair.
She could hear Sergei's voice inside of her mind, telling her not to get involved, but it was just too much.
"Fleur—-"
The anger in Freddie's voice was unmistakable, and it was exactly what Fleur needed to hear to spur her into action. She could see that Freddie was itching to fight Fleur's battles for her, but since that would only make her look more pathetic—-
Fleur quickly forced a smile. "Sorry, I was just...surprised." God, it was so, so hard to talk when all she wanted to do was cry, and the urge to break down only grew as she turned to Julian and heard herself say, "Congratulations."
"Thank you."
She knew she should leave it at that, it was as if her heart had become addicted to pain, and Fleur found herself asking, "Do you mind if I ask why her?"
"I like how young she is."
Freddie's jaw dropped, but just as she was about to throw every swear word she knew at Julian's way, she felt Fleur step on her foot under the table, and she had no choice but to snap her mouth shut.
But God, for Julian to actually go there...
Fleur managed a weak laugh. "I can't say I blame you."
Julian could see how much he had hurt her with his words, and he didn't fucking like it. "I'm sorry," he bit out. Even when she loved another man, he loved her still, and if he could take the words back, he would have.
"Don't be." Fleur did her best to sound cheerful, but the way Julian was gazing at her didn't change, and it hurt. It hurt so, so much because while she was in love with him, all he seemed to feel for her now was pity.
So many times, there were so, so many times when she would hear younger girls throw shade her way, saying that older women like her could be so desperate, and not once...not once had Fleur ever minded.
Until now.
She had never thought she could ever be so foolish and desperate over a man, and oh God, when she thought about the lengths she had gone to make tonight special...
Fleur's head jerked up, and she looked at Freddie. "I just...I...Julian..." Her voice kept shaking she finally had to stop in order to take a deep breath before starting anew. "I think Julian's r-right." Her voice still wobbled in the end, and it became so much harder not to cry. "The less said about our contract, about everything, the b-better."
"I'm glad you see things in my way," Julian said harshly.
Fleur wished she could just leave then and there, but there was one last thing she needed to make clear, and she turned to Stephen and Freddie. "I want it in writing. That we can't ever talk about...this." Her voice suddenly broke, and all she could do was beg Stephen and Freddie with her eyes. "I need it in writing."
That part was non-negotiable.
She needed everyone to keep their mouths shut the way she hadn't been able to. Needed everyone to not breathe a word about how stupid she had been, thinking that Julian was in love with her—-