"Do you ever have trouble?" Perrin asked. "Separating yourself from the wolf?"
"I used to."
"But not any longer?"
"I found a balance," Elyas said.
"How?"
The older man fell still for a moment. "I wish I knew. It was just something I learned, Perrin. Something you'll have to learn."
Or end up like Noam. Perrin met Elyas' golden eyes, then nodded. "Thank you."
"For the advice?"
"No," Perrin said. "For coming back. For showing me that one of us, at least, can live with the wolves and not lose himself."
"It's nothing," Elyas said. "I had forgotten that it could be nice to be around people for a change. I don't know how long I can stay, though. The Last Hunt is almost here."
Perrin looked up at the sky again. "That it is. Pass the word on to Tarn and the others for me. I've made my decision. The Whitecloaks have picked a place to fight. I've decided to go ahead and meet them tomorrow."
"All right," Elyas said. "You don't smell like you want to do it, though."
"It needs to be done," Perrin said. "And that's that." Everyone wanted him to be a lord. Well, this was the sort of thing lords did. Made decisions that nobody wanted to make.
It would still sicken him to give the order. He'd seen a vision of those wolves running sheep toward a beast. It seemed to him that maybe that was what he was doing, running the Whitecloaks toward destruction. They certainly wore the color of sheep's wool.
But what to make of the vision of Faile and the others, approaching a cliff? Elyas moved off, leaving Perrin with the axe still on his shoulder. He felt as if he hadn't been chopping logs, but bodies.
CHAPTER 25
Return to Bandar Eban
Rand and Min did not announce themselves as they came to Bandar Eban. They stepped through the gateway into a small alley, guarded by two Maidens Lerian and Heidia along with Naeff, the tall, square-chinned Asha'man.
The Maidens scouted to the end of the alleyway, peering suspiciously at the city. Rand stepped forward and laid a hand on Heidia's shoulder, calming the slender woman, who seemed anxious at Rand's guard being so few. He wore his brown cloak.
Overhead, the clouds broke, melting away above the city in response to Rand's arrival. Min looked upward, feeling the warmth shine on her face. The alley smelled terrible of refuse and waste but a warm breeze blew through, carrying the stenches away.
"My Lord Dragon," Naeff said. "I don't like this. You should have greater protection. Let us return and gather "
"It will be fine, Naeff," Rand said. He turned to Min and held out his hand.
She took it, joining him. Naeff and the Maidens had orders to follow behind at a distance; they would draw attention.
As Min and Rand stepped out onto one of the Domani capital's many boardwalks, she raised a hand to her mouth. It had only been a short time since Rand's departure. How had the city changed so quickly?
The street was full of sickly, dirty people, crowded alongside walls, huddled in blankets. There wasn't room to move on the boardwalks; Min and Rand had to step down into the mud to continue. People coughed and moaned, and she realized the stenches weren't confined to the alley. The entire city seemed to stink. Once, banners had hung from many of these buildings, but they'd been pulled down and ripped apart for blankets or fuel.
Most of the buildings had broken windows, with refugees clogging the doorways and floors inside. As Min and Rand walked, the people around them turned to watch. Some looked delirious. Others looked hungry. And dangerous. Many were Domani, but there seemed to be as many paler-skinned people. Refugees from Almoth Plain or Saldaea, perhaps. Min loosened a knife in her sleeve as they passed a group of young toughs lounging at an alleyway's mouth. Perhaps Naeff had been right. This didn't feel safe.
"I walked through Ebou Dar like this," Rand said softly. Suddenly, she was aware of his pain. A crushing guilt, more hurtful than the wounds in his side. "That was part of what made me change. The people in Ebou Dar were happy and well-fed. They didn't look like these. The Seanchan rule better than I"
"Rand, you aren't responsible for this," Min said. "You weren't here to . . ."
His pain increased, and she realized she'd said the wrong thing. "Yes," he replied softly, "I wasn't here. I abandoned this city when I saw that I could not use it as the tool I w
ished it to be. I forgot, Min. I forgot what this was all about. Tarn was so very right. A man must know why he is fighting."