"Oh. I thought I would just take a cab."
"That wouldn't be nice of me, letting you do that. At least let me be a nice ally," he prodded.
The others looked at me. They knew what made me hesitant, but they also looked like they thought I was being foolish.
"You're not getting married," Cinnamon reminded me in a whisper.
I took a deep breath and nodded.
"Okay. It is too nice to take another cab."
"You'd only go right to practicing. anyway," Rose said. "We know you. Honey."
"We know ourselves," Ice said. "That's what we would all be doing."
There was confession and then laughter. The boys paid our bill and everyone went his and her separate way, no one apparently as nervous about it as was I.
"Is this the fastest way?" I asked Tony almost immediately.
"Sure, but do you really want to get back so quickly? It's such a nice day and New York is a great city for walking. From what I understand, you girls work pretty hard all week and even have obligations on the weekends. You don't get much free time. right?"
"No, but we're not here for that."
"Everyone's here for some of that." Tony insisted, grinning at me with teasing devilry. Then he grew serious and added. "It's hard enough being at a big college with lots of girls in the same situation as you are, but to go to such a small school and have so few friends, especially in New York City, must be difficult. huh?"
"No," I said. "I'm too busy to worry about any of that," I insisted, half to convince myself as well as him.
"You sound so dedicated."
"I am. You have to be if you want to do what we're setting out to do."
"That really applies to everything, Honey.I'm going to have to work hard, too," he said.
"I didn't mean to make what you're doing sound inferior. I meant..."
"I know." he said. laughing. "I thought if I made you feel guilty, you'd be nicer to me."
"I'm being nice to you."
"Sure. Rushing to get away from me is being nice to me," he said. "Am I that distasteful to be with?"
"I didn't say you were. I..."
Should I tell him about Chandler now? I wondered. Would he think I was making it up? Why did I agree to this afternoon date if I was going so hot and heavy with someone else, he would surely wonder.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm just very nervous."
"Me, too." he said. laughing.
I looked at him skeptically.
"I am!" he insisted. "I don't know why girls assume every boy in the world is a Don Juan full of experience. The truth is. I've been serious with a girl only once in my life, and if you have to know, she dumped me! She cheated on me and then she rubbed it in my face.
"She dumped the guy she had dumped me for shortly afterward," he said with disgust. "I've been extra careful about the girls I date ever since. Sorry for the speech," he ended and walked along, his head down.
I felt terrible and caught up to him.
"I'm not really in any hurry to get back," I said. "You're right. We should all learn how to relax. too."