"I knew that. But I hoped that after you saw the life you could have, the benefits, luxuries, advantages, you wouldn't be so reluctant. Maybe I could talk you into being a surrogate mother. Then--"
"What then?"
"Basil actually fell in love with you and decided he wanted to impregnate you the oldfashioned way," she said, and again laughed that mad, thin laugh. "Of course, he knew you wouldn't be so willing to do that either, so--"
"So you drugged me."
"They call it the date-rape pill nowadays," she admitted. "We waited until you would be in the period of ovulation, but I couldn't see doing this to you night after night, so I agreed to two, maybe three, but when I heard your screams . . . it would be easier if you would just cooperate now," she concluded.
I stared at her in disbelief.
"Cooperate? You mean, lie here waiting for him every night?"
"Yes. Listen to me. Look what he's given you already, what you have and what he will give you. You're going to get pregnant someday anyway. You do this small thing, and for the rest of your life--"
"Small thing? You call this a small thing?"
I felt the nausea returning, my dizziness. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.
"Why don't you do it, if it's such a small thing?" I snapped back at her. "If you have trouble making love, then why don't you have a doctor plant Wade's or Basil's sperm in you?"
"We tried once, Wade and I, but it didn't take. After Wade told Basil about that, Basil became more determined and aggressive about it. He came to me himself, hoping I would agree to let him seduce me. He even attempted it one night when you were here, because he didn't think we could manage it with you. But I couldn't be with him, and he got so angry and disgusted, I thought he would bring everything to an end, including your wonderful new opportunity."
"Wonderful new opportunity? That's why you made me so sexy for him, to please him? You wanted to get him off your back," I said, not meaning to make it sound like a pun.
"But you do please him!" she said. "More than I do."
"Like that's an accomplishment? The clothes, the jewelry, the school, the car! All of it was like a bribe?"
"Don't you enjoy it all? Don't you want to keep it forever? You don't want to go back to that life you had in an orphanage? Even with that old house and land you supposedly own, you won't have anything close to this. I've taught you how to appreciate the good things, haven't I? You're getting something wonderful in return. You will go to one of the best colleges someday."
"And they thought my family was crazy," I muttered. "You can't just use people like this," I said, shaking my head at her. "It's horrible."
"Are you saying you'd be willing to give all this up?"
"Of course I'm saying that, Ami."
"You're not thinking right," she insisted. She stood up and smiled. "You're still having problems from the pills, and it's affecting your thinking. After a little rest, when you give everything deep thought--"
"I'll never agree to such a thing," I said, as thinly as I could.
My head was pounding. I squeezed my temples with my thumb and fingers.
"I'm tired. I've got to get some sleep," I said.
"Of course you do. Everything will be different once you've had some rest," she said.
I shook my head at her.
"I really do feel sorry for you," I said, and lowered my head to the pillow.
She came to the bed.
"I didn't want to hurt you. I don't. I'm making sure you have the best things in life. Please believe me," she said.
"I believe you. I believe you really think that," I said.
She misunderstood and smiled.