"No, it's all right,"
"Oh?" She looked at Brenda and in a moment knew all that had passed between us. "Great, Well, I'm tired. and I didn't play a second in that grueling game, so I can't even imagine how you feel."
"Tired. Let's all get some sleep," Brenda said. "We can have breakfast and maybe show April some of our more fun places in the city,"
"I think I'd better set out for home right after breakfast. Mama makes me nervous," I said.
Brenda nodded. "Fine. We'll follow you next weekend, and we'll get her to go out to dinner again."
There were some girls and their boyfriends sitting around one of the settee and chair
arrangements in the lobby. When we entered, one of the boys called out. ''Great game."
"Thanks," Brenda called back, and we went up the stairs to the rooms. "Are you all right?" Brenda asked me at the door to mine. "Is it comfortable enough?"
"Yeah, sure." I said. "I'm really glad I came. Brenda."
"Me, too," she said, and we hugged. Celia watched from the doorway. She smiled at me. and I told her good night and went into the room.
Had I ever had a more complicated, full day? Even this very plain-looking bed in this Spartan closet of a room looked inviting. I couldn't wait to get into it and close my eyes. I could hear Brenda and Celia talking, but their voices were so muffled and low I didn't make out any sense of anything. I heard them laugh, and then they grew quiet.
For a moment. I was caught in a heavy contradiction. I was happy for Brenda. She had obviously found great contentment. But I was actually very jealous of her as well. She seemed to have it all now: her wonderful athletic talent and someone with whom to share it, perhaps share the rest of her life. She had truly found herself, and she was very comfortable with herself.
Would I ever be? What really lay in wait for me out there? What revelations, discoveries, realizations would I confront, and would I be as comfortable and as satisfied with who I was as Brenda was now?
I wondered about Mama. What did she really know? How would she face this along with all her other burdens? I was afraid for her. Maybe this was just too much weight to bear. Maybe Brenda shouldn't be so forthcoming when it came to her. Wasn't it better to keep this all a secret until Mama grew stronger? I decided I would discuss it with Brenda in the morning.
I didn't think I'd fall asleep for a long time. but I did. and Brenda had to wake me. She was already dressed and stood by my bed, gently shaking me.
"Hey. sleepyhead. Get up and dressed. We're hungry." she said.
I around the sleep out of my eyes and looked around. The confusion on my face made her laugh.
"Forgot where you were?"
"Yes for a moment." I said. "What time is it?"
"It's after nine. We overslept, too. We're usually out and about by eight. We'll wait for you downstairs,' she told me, and left.
I washed and dressed as quickly as I could. Brenda and Celia were sitting on a settee and talking to another girl when I appeared. The girl had short pecan-brown hair and wore her glasses down on the bridge of her nose, looking over them as she spoke to Brenda and Celia. She had a notebook in her hand and had been writing.
"This is Marsha Graystone," Brenda said, introducing us. "She's the editor of the college. newspaper,"
"Hi," I said.
"What do you think of your sister?" she asked in a demanding tone. She held her hand poised with the pen as though she were going to write whatever I said verbatim. I glanced at Brenda and Celia, who were both smiling.
"I think she's terrific." I said.
"Why?" she followed like a prosecutor in a courtroom.
"Why?" I looked at Brenda again. "Because no matter what you think or expect from her, she will always surprise you," I replied.
"I love it!" Marsha cried, and wrote.
"I'm starving," Celia declared, standing. She put her arm through mine. "C'mon, we're treating you to a Mom's Kitchen breakfast with all the trimmings. Eggs and grits and biscuits and ham."
"You're going to eat all that?" Brenda asked skeptically.