“We are not sure. But we will find out. ” Then, so low I almost don’t hear it, he adds, “But it had to have been someone with access. ” His eyes shoot to the door behind me, and I know he’s thinking of Eldest. Which is stupid: Eldest didn’t want me dead until I was unfrozen. But. . . why would anyone unplug me? To kill me? But why me? I am, as the doctor so kindly pointed out, nonessential.
And then another question, one much more important, rises above everything else. “What about my parents? Is whoever unplugged me going to unplug my parents?” I remember choking on cryo liquid; I remember believing that I would drown in that box. I don’t want my parents to feel the same thing. I don’t want to run the risk of losing them forever if their boxes are opened too late after the ice melts.
“Go back to your chamber to rest. Try not to think these disturbing thoughts. You can rest assured that your parents—and all the rest of the frozens—are protected. Eldest will see to that. ”
I narrow my eyes. I doubt very much that old man will do anything to help anyone else. He’d probably think setting guards around the cryo chambers would be too much of a “disturbance. ” And with his callousness, I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that he unplugged me just to see if it would kill me.
But I cannot think here. I cannot figure out what to do. Even though I don’t want to rest, I do need to be somewhere alone with my thoughts. So, I leave.
A pile of crushed flowers rests beside my door. I bend and pick them up. The blooms remind me of tiger lilies, but they are bigger and brighter than any tiger lilies I remember from Earth. Even though they’re ruined, a part of me wants to set them in a bowl of water—they’re beautiful and their fragrance is sweet. In the end, though, I stand up and leave the broken flowers in the hall. They remind me too much of me.
18
ELDER
“OH, HERE YOU ARE,” ELDEST SAYS CASUALLY AS HE CLIMBS UP the hatch that connects the Keeper Level to the S
hipper Level.
I lie on the cool metal floor below the metal screen hiding the fake stars. My head is pounding from Eldest’s little noise trick. I have never in all my life had a headache this bad before. Every time I let my head roll on the floor, it feels as if a ton of weight is crashing around, slamming against my skull, flattening my brain into useless mush. I try to stay still.
“That was a frexing dirty thing to do,” I mutter, pressing the palms of my hands into my forehead.
“What? Oh, the tonal thing. Well, next time don’t ignore my com. ”
“I can if I want to!” I know it sounds childish, but I can barely frexing see with this headache. I stare up at the dull metal ceiling, grateful the star screen is blocked from view. Just thinking about the tiny pin-pricks of the lightbulb stars makes my head ache more.
Eldest walks across the Great Room to his chamber, goes inside, and returns a few moments later with something in his hand. He tosses it at me. A lavender-colored med patch. I rip it open and apply it directly to my forehead, the tiny needles catching on my skin like hook-and-loop tape. I breathe deeply, willing the medicine to take effect and ease my pulsing, throbbing head.
“Let this be a lesson,” Eldest says. His voice rings out across the Great Room. There’s no need for him to shout—it’s only us in here. I wonder if he’s speaking so loudly just to aggravate my headache more. “The job of the Eldest is to prevent discord. Through the centuries, we have perfected the prevention of the first main cause of discord by eliminating differences. ”
“I know,” I moan, rubbing the med-patch on my forehead deeper into my skin. Did I really need a lesson now?
Eldest starts to squat down next to me, but his knees creak, so he stands up and hobbles around instead, pacing. “Don’t you see?” he finally says, exasperated. “That girl could not be more different!”
“So?”
Eldest throws up his hands. “Chaos! Discord! Fighting! She is nothing but trouble!”
I cock my eyebrow, grateful that the med patch is already making me feel normal again. “Being a bit dramatic, aren’t you?”
Eldest drops his hands and glares at me. “She could ruin this ship. ”
“She’s just a girl. ”
Eldest growls.
“Wait. . . ” I say, leaning up and staring at him. “That’s it, isn’t it? She’s a girl, and she’s my age. You’re afraid we’ll. . . ” My face burns at the thought. If Eldest is afraid of what Amy and I could do together, well, to be honest, that’s a possibility I’m rather hoping for.
“Don’t be such a chutz. ” Eldest laughs, and my face grows even hotter. “I’m not worried about that at all. ”
I splutter as I jump up. Does he think that I couldn’t? I know I’m not old enough for my Season yet, but I also know that I’m more than capable. When I look at Amy. . . I know what I’d like to do with her, and I know that I could. How dare he think I couldn’t! I am not the child he thinks I am!
“You’re losing focus,” Eldest says, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “This is all beside the point. The point is, that girl is going to cause trouble. ”
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” I ask, sinking back to the floor.
Eldest appraises me. “You’ll be the next Eldest. What would you do about it?”