Autumn was the light in my life.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
Her love.
It was everything I’d ever wanted and didn’t think I was worthy of. Without her being aware of it, for the next few hours I showed her my world. I was determined to make something of myself and never again be that little boy always looking in at someone else’s life. I wouldn’t allow my mind to wander to a future that included Autumn.
All we had was the now, and I took full advantage of that.
“Which is your favorite car?”
I led her toward the black Lincoln Continental with the suicide doors, nodding to it.
“This is one sick ride, Julian.”
“She is a beauty.” And I wasn’t referring to the car.
“Too bad we can’t christen this one, huh?”
I pulled her into my side. “Never say never, Autumn.”
If I had one life goal, it was to make love to her in that vehicle. At the end of the day, I couldn’t tell her I loved her, even though…
I did.
By the time we got back to my apartment it was dinner time, and I ordered us a pizza and chicken wings. We were sitting on my bed when we heard the front door open. Our eyes went wide.
“Fuck,” I breathed out.
Her car was in the driveway, there was no hiding she was there with me.
“Autumn?” Christian called out, and her eyes went wide.
Neither one of us moved, but the second we heard his footsteps coming toward my room we both stood up. Once he stopped in front of my door, his stare shifted back and forth between us until he focused on me.
“What is my little sister doing in your room?”
“Christian, I was looking for you,” she replied, bringing his gaze to her.
“In Julian’s room?”
“No.” She smiled. “He was just showing me his new TV.”
His eyebrows pinched together. “Mom says you’ve been hanging out here a lot, and I haven’t been here much, so explain that one to me?”
“Christian, just ask what you want to know,” I snapped, unable to bite my tongue.
“I just did. What’s my little sister doing here all the time if I’m not here, Julian?”
“Stop calling me your little sister, I’m not a child.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Autumn. What are you doing with Julian?”
“We’re just hanging out. He’s my friend too.”
“Since when?”
“What are you insinuating?” Autumn asked, not backing down. “I’ve known him all of my life, Christian. It’s no different than coming here to hang out with you.”
“I’m your brother.”
“Most of the time I’m looking for you.”
“You can text me, and I can tell you if I’m here or at Kinley’s.”
“I will next time.”
That response seemed to appease him, and I could see it in his eyes—
he definitely suspected what was going on.
“Anyway, it’s getting late. I’m going to head home.” Autumn glanced back at me as she was leaving. “Good choice on the new TV. It’s awesome.” She hugged her brother. “I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow.”
Once we heard the front door close, Christian didn’t waver. Not that I expected him to. “What the fuck was that?”
“I don’t know what—”
“Don’t give me that shit. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Why are you hanging out with my little sister?”
“You don’t have to keep calling her that. I know what she is to you.”
“Doesn’t look like that to me.”
“You need to relax. I was just showing her my new TV.”
“What about all the other times she’s been here? What were you doing then?”
“What are you insinuating, Christian?”
“You fuck anything that walks, Julian. I don’t need to remind you Autumn’s off limits, do I?”
I shook my head. There was no need for the reminder. I thought about it every time we were together, and when I was inside of her.
He nodded, slowly backing away, never taking his intense stare off of me. I knew what he wanted to ask…
Are you fucking my little sister?
He just couldn’t bring himself to say it, and to be completely honest, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to look him in the face and lie to him. He was my best friend, my brother, and I was fucking it all up by betraying his trust.
“Great, keep it that way.” He turned and left.
For the rest of the night, I thought about what I was putting on the line for Autumn. His bachelor party was coming up, and I was going to have to prove to him one way or another that there was nothing going on behind his back.
My phone dinged with a text message, and I didn’t have to wonder who it was. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I read it.
Please don’t push me away again.
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. Unable to lie to her.
Although, her text didn’t matter. I knew deep down in every fiber of my being…
This was the beginning of the end for Autumn and me.