Summers were always the best. Even though the cabin is massive, Dad and I would pitch a tent in the yard near the lake and sleep outside under the stars. A small campfire would burn all night. In the morning, we’d wake up bright and early. He would cook eggs and bacon over an open fire and then we would fish for the day.
Those are some of the best memories I have of my childhood. It’s painful to acknowledge that we will never make more.
Dad is gone.
This is the one place on the face of the Earth where there’s no avoiding the past. My father was this place. He and the land are deeply entwined. You can’t have one without the other. Every year I fail to return makes it more difficult to consider the possibility of coming back in the future. The cabin used to fill me with so much happiness. I can’t imagine that ever being the case again.
I wouldn’t be making this trip without Sydney by my side. If there’s anyone capable of soothing the anguish that lurks deep within me, it’s this girl. She understands what loss feels like on this kind of gut-wrenching level because she’s experienced it, too. She’s quickly becoming my everything. These feelings snuck up on me when I was least expecting them.
Know what the real kicker is?
That I have Kira to thank for it.
Yeah...Kira.
It’s doubtful the two of us would have gotten together if not for her. For obvious reasons, I won’t be sharing that information with the tawny-haired girl anytime soon. Even though she seems to be going strong with her new boyfriend, I think that news would go down like a lead balloon.
I’m jostled from those thoughts when Sydney reaches over and wraps her fingers around mine. “Are you doing all right?” The question is hesitantly asked.
She’s worried.
One flick of my gaze in her direction confirms the concern brimming in her vivid, green eyes. I probably should have kept my reservations about returning to myself. But that’s the thing, I don’t want to hold back the truth from Sydney. After all the lies that were told in the beginning of our relationship, I can’t tolerate anything less than raw honesty between us. And being candid with her feels a little bit like vanquishing the ghosts of my past. Afterward, they don’t seem quite so formidable.
“I’m fine. Maybe a little nervous,” I admit, twisting my fingers so that I can encompass hers. The last thing I want to do is freak her out.
With a nod, she nibbles at her lower lip. “We don’t have to do this, Bray. We could easily rent a hotel room for the night and stay there. Maybe explore the area tomorrow before heading back to school.”
Yup. We could. But I don’t want to do that. It’s been years since I stepped foot on this property, and with Sydney by my side, I feel strong enough to finally come face to face with the past. I don’t question that she’s become so important to me in such a short span of time. When something feels right, there’s no need to overthink it.
And Sydney feels right. Our relationship feels right. It’s as if something fundamental has finally clicked into place that I never realized was missing. It’s not something that can be explained away with logic.
It just is.
“I promise I’m good.”
I turn the truck onto a narrower road. The woods grow thick and dense, hugging the sides of the lane until it feels like the branches could scrape against the door panels. If it were summer, the leaves would form a canopy and block out the bright shafts of sunlight that pour down.
A frown settles on her face as Sydney straightens and stares out the passenger side window. “Are you sure we’re going the right way?” A nervous edge has crept into her tone. It takes a lot to rattle Sydney. The girl has nerves of steel.
My lips lift into a smile as I shoot her a quick glance. This isn’t a place where I want to take my eyes off the road for long. I’m liable to wrap the front end of the truck around a tree. “Yup.” It’s a little more overgrown than I remember, but it’s still the same.
“I’m going to keep it real with you. It feels like this road is going to dead end and we’ll be stuck out here in the woods.” There’s a pause before she adds, “And then we’ll get murdered by a roving band of psycho killers.”
I snort out a laugh. “It’s highly doubtful that psycho killers even know this place exists. Plus, you’re much more likely to get mauled by a bear than a crazy with a chainsaw.”
Color drains from her face as her eyes widen. “You better be joking.”