“Why?” I ask. I truly don’t get it. I never asked Nathan not to have a glass of wine. I never told Kyle not to drink a beer. I don’t expect the guys I’m with to live the same way I do.
“This is a choice that matters to you, and I don’t need alcohol to have a good time. I don’t need it to talk to you. But thank you for the offer. I’ll have something else, though.”
“Fair enough,” I say, and I’m honestly gobsmacked.
I don’t know what to make of his reaction—except I don’t have to guess because he keeps talking. “If it matters to you not to drink, it matters to me to make that choice when I’m with you,” Grant adds, more softly this time.
I do get it now.
He’s showing respect. He’s honoring my choices.
“Thank you,” I say, then I grab a can of soda from the fridge, add ice to two tumblers, and pour us both a drink. I lift my glass and we clink in a toast.
“Congratulations, rookie,” I say, lingering on that nickname for him.
The last time I said it, he asked me not to use it.
This time, he nibbles on the corner of his lips for the briefest of seconds. “Thanks,” Grant says, then knocks some of his drink back, and all I can think is I want his Diet Coke kiss so badly.
But I have to earn it.
So, when he sets down the glass, I do the same, then I go for broke, laying my cards on the table. “I messed up when I cut you off. I regret it every day. I haven’t been with anyone else since you, and I want to tell you what happened,” I say, and it’s not my finest moment, it’s not a great speech, but I hope it’ll get the ball rolling.
Grant’s quiet at first, his fingers straying to his tie, unknotting it more, but like he’s not quite sure how it works. “I haven’t been with anyone either.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “That’s not a game-changer for me, though. I want you to know that. Even if you’d been with someone, I’d still want you again.”
“But I haven’t,” he adds.
“Good,” I say, my lips crooking up in a grin as his fingers toy with the knot once more.
“I want to tell you what went down, but first . . .” I take a step closer, reach for the blue silk. “Let me help.”
I’m a thief, and I’ll steal this chance to move a little bit closer and reach up to undo his tie.
“I know how to untie a tie,” he says, a little annoyed, but it’s a feeble protest. When my fingers reach for the silky fabric, he doesn’t stop me.
“I don’t doubt you do,” I say, my breath coming fast and hard, the air charged, the sparks crackling in the space between us. “I just want to help.”
He moves his palms behind him, setting them on the counter as I undo the tie the rest of the way, my hands so close to him as I go, my fingers brushing against his chest, my body lighting up from the close contact.
Once the knot is undone, I tug off the silk, leave it on the counter.
I’m about to ask if he wants to sit down and talk, since I know that’s what we need to do.
But Grant is faster.
He moves like a cheetah.
In less than a second, his hand ropes through my hair, and he brings his lips so close to mine.
Stopping when he’s a millimeter away.
His breath ghosts across my face. His fingers curl tighter around my skull, and my body hums with need.
Buzzes with desire.
Kiss me, I want to say.
But I need him to be the one to do it.
Need him to finish what he’s starting.
This test.
It sure as hell feels like a test. Like he’s dipping a toe in the waters of his own desire, checking the temperature.
Come on in, rookie. The water’s nice.
He says nothing, but the noises he makes tell all. The low, velvety rumble from his throat sounds like coming home.
“Mmm. Want to kiss you so fucking badly,” he murmurs, and if death by desire is possible, it just happened to me.
Yes, some do say the world will end in fire, and that’s fine by me.
I am officially dead.
And I’ve gone to dirty heaven when Grant drops his lips to mine.
He kisses the breath out of me.
My God, it’s better than before. My memories didn’t lie. Time didn’t erase us. We are still fire.
That’s how he kisses me—like the world is burning down around us, and this is how he wants to go—up in flames, stoked by this passion.
His lips are greedy. His mouth explores mine like kissing me is the missing piece. Like this is what we’re falling back into.