“Do you really want me to stop?” he challenged, his eyes dark with intent.
“No,” I babbled urgently, “no, never.”
“Then let me do what I started out to do.”
“What was that?”
“Being your lover, isn’t that what you wanted?” he teased. Then he jerked my hips toward him again, my head falling back as I caught myself on my elbows. He feasted on my pussy, and I mewed and whimpered as he licked, sucked and stroked me to an orgasm that sent my legs straight out over his shoulders, rigid and stiff as the climax hit me.
When the thrashing stopped and I regained control of my limbs, I noticed that Drew was holding me up, his arm under my hips where I had slid off the edge of the table in the fury of my climax. He looked very pleased with himself as he stood up and scooped me up. My arms and legs wrapped around him, and he carried me to his bedroom. I was aware that I was completely naked from the waist down while Drew was fully dressed. I felt vulnerable suddenly, as if I hadn’t already spread my legs for him on the table where we’d been eating, wanton and eager. Instead of dropping me on the mattress, he sat down with me in his lap and rolled me to the side. I sat up, self-conscious.
“I got carried away,” I said a little embarrassed.
“You got carried away? I’m the one who just went down on you at the kitchen table. If anyone got carried away, it’s me. And that’s because I want you so much. I wake up in the night dreaming I can taste you. I’m not ashamed to tell you that. I want the taste of you on my tongue, and I want to hear my name in your mouth when you’re coming so hard you can’t see straight, but you know I’m the one doing it to you. That, right there, is me winning at life.”
I blushed, but I smiled at him all the same, feeling like I was glowing and beautiful all at once.
“Can I at least return the favor?” I said, barely bashful at all. I looked him in the face, “Remember when I used to go down on you in your truck? You’d have to pull over and park because you couldn’t see to drive.”
“Do I remember? I haven’t been knocked in the head that hard recently,” he said in disbelief. “You’d be surprised to find how much I remember about us, Chel. I remember you asking your housekeeper to make lemon cookies even though you didn’t like them just because they were my favorite. I remember the way it felt to climb that trellis and find you waiting for me in the window. How we snuck out and ran across yards and out into a field with a blanket and made love under the stars.”
“That was as magical as I remember, wasn’t it?”
“No one ever had a love like that, Chel. I’ve looked for anything like it the last eighteen years and the only time I came close was when I kissed you in the street outside the bar. The only spark I’ve felt, the only thing that makes my chest hurt and makes me smile like I can’t stop is you. Everything was magic. And I was so goddamn arrogant I thought lightning could strike again and again. That it wasn’t a one-time feeling. That you’d find something as good with someone better than me. Did you? Did it happen for you? Because it damn sure didn’t happen for me.”
I reached for him, my heart too full to speak at all. I shook my head and kissed his lips softly, “Never,” I whispered, tears clogging my voice. “Not even close.”
“How could I have not known? How could I do what I did?” he shook his head, the grief showing in every line of his beautiful face.
“You thought you were protecting me. That’s how. Because you thought you were saving me.”
“Who was I to think I could save you?”
“You were the man who loved me. I see how it was. I wish I’d had the chance to tell you that you were wrong, but we can’t go back and change things, Drew. But we can spend tonight together and steal a few hours to rewrite history.”
He kissed me so fiercely, with such passion and sadness that it was almost more than I could bear. “I can’t forgive myself for everything I took from us,” he said against my forehead, stretched out beside me on the bed.
“You don’t have to. I can.” I said. I felt strong and beloved, like I could do anything. Like light suffused me, because I felt in every cell of my body that Drew Casey loved me, still or again or always. In that moment, I knew it was the truth.