The bottom line was that she’d found a neat argument to give herself permission to sleep with Gael. But in the cold light of day those arguments rang disturbingly hollow. She’d indulged herself simply because she’d been too weak to resist the temptation of the most compelling man she’d ever met.
Sure, she could forgive herself for it—eventually—but in succumbing to momentary madness had she given up more than her virginity? Had she also burned bridges in the career she’d fought tooth and nail to succeed in forging for herself? She didn’t need the internet to confirm to her that Gael Aguilar had power and clout. Nor was she naive enough to think she could escape unscathed from her one mistake should he be indiscreet enough to whisper about what had happened between them.
She only had one choice. She had to talk to him—make it clear that they were to treat what had happened between them last night as the transient indulgence it was and nothing else. She wasn’t above begging for his discretion if it came to that. She had too much to lose.
Turning over, she opened her eyes.
To see an empty space next to her.
She wasn’t surprised to find him gone. After all he’d left her wide awake, seconds after they’d made love, and locked himself into the bathroom. Had she not been completely shattered, she would have dragged herself off to the other bedroom to avoid what must have been an even more humiliating sight for Gael when he’d emerged from the bathroom.
Had he even slept in the same bed with her? Or had he availed himself of one of the unoccupied bedrooms so he wouldn’t have to look at her or deal with her? Had she been so disappointing that she hadn’t merited six minutes, never mind his customary six weeks? Not that she’d intended to have that long a time with him!
Her face heated as humiliation mounted. She didn’t want to acknowledge the dull pain in her chest, but Goldie was a believer in facing problems head-on. Yes, she’d given her virginity to a man who hadn’t even acknowledged it. A part of her was glad of that. But another small part mourned her lost innocence because, while the experience had been phenomenal, she couldn’t think about it without thinking about what had come after. Without thinking about why her chest felt tight with unsettling emotions she was too anxious to examine.
Dragging herself upright, she looked around her. The dressing gown was draped over a chair, her underwear laid on top of it. More heat surged into her face at the thought of Gael touching her things. Pushing the disturbing thought away, she rose, then gasped as her body’s discomfort registered. The enormity of what she’d done grew as she gathered the clothes and made her way back to her room.
If she’d still kept the diary she’d used to as a teenager, the events of the last twenty-four hours would have been emblazoned in red ink across her trusted leather-bound notebook. But, alas, they were to be confined in a secret vault in her mind, only to be examined on the rarest of occasions at some remote point in the future, when humiliation didn’t burn this bright or this painfully.
She was debating in her mind exactly when that occasion would be when she entered the other bedroom suite.
The note propped up against her pillow was hard to miss, with the hotel’s distinctive burgundy and cream stationery standing out against the white sheets, and the bold black scrawl across the paper.
Trepidation eating at her, she walked across the room and plucked up the folded paper.
Goldie,
I’ve decided to go a different way with the discussed role. The driver will be waiting when you’re ready to take you wherever you need to go. Take as much time as you need.
The contents of the envelope are a token of my gratitude for your time.
G
Even before her numb fingers had located and opened the envelope, which had been propped up behind the note, sheets of icy rage were bucketing down on her.
Yesterday Goldie had thought that casting director asking her to go to his hotel suite for sex if she wanted the role she’d auditioned for was bad enough. Now she knew the depths of true humiliation.
She wasn’t even sure why she took out the sheaf of dollar bills and counted them. Perhaps she wanted to know just how much her degradation was worth to Gael Aguilar. It certainly wasn’t because she intended to use a single cent of it.
Ten thousand dollars.
Hot, humiliating tears filled her eyes. When they dripped down her cheeks she angrily swiped them away. Was this how her mother had felt each time she was used and discarded?
Goldie wasn’t proud that she’d inadvertently walked in her mother’s shoes. But she hadn’t done it through choice. She didn’t deserve this!
Her anger wiping away the last of her humiliation, she dressed in last night’s clothes, uncaring of how she’d look walking across the famous hotel’s lobby. Her rage would insulate her just fine.
She stopped in the bathroom long enough to wash her face and tidy her hair before she exited the suite, the note and the envelope full of cash clutched tight in her fist.
A butler of indeterminate age emerged as she entered the lavish living room. ‘Good morning, miss. Would you like some breakfast?’ he asked in cultured tones.
Putting on her best acting skills, she smiled and shook her head. ‘No, thank you. Is it possible to summon the driver?’
‘Of course, miss. Would you like me to tell him the destination or would you prefer to relay it yourself?’
‘I’ll take care of it. Thank you.’
The butler nodded and crossed over to a nearby phone. After a short conversation he returned. ‘He’s pulling up now, miss. If you’d allow me to escort you...?’