The kids chose that moment to run into the entryway, all three of them excited to see him. Even Lexi, her reluctant Lexi, shot Jane an odd look before she called a soft greeting to Chris.
“What’s in the bag?” Logan shouted. He had presents permanently on the brain.
“Oh, I have a few Christmas gifts. Nothing special.” Chris shrugged and his attitude drove the children even crazier.
Mindy stood in the living room as all five of them made their way in. The surprise at seeing
Chris was written all over her face. “Well, hi.”
“Hey, Mindy.” He went to the tree and set the bag down. The kids all surrounded it, making lots of ooh and ahh noises. Apparently it was taking everything they had not to dive into the bag and dig through.
“Uh, yeah…” Mindy glanced around the room and clapped her hands, summoning the children. “Hey you guys, let’s go to the kitchen for a few minutes and let your mom and Chris talk.”
“But I wanna open the presents,” Logan wailed. Sophia started to whimper right along with him.
“They’re not going anywhere. I promise,” Chris said and the children silently, reluctantly headed toward the kitchen with their aunt.
“Captain Nelson? Will you stay for dinner?” Lexi asked.
Chris’s expression softened and he nodded, his gaze turning to look at Jane. “I will if your mom doesn’t mind.”
Meeting his gaze, in that moment, the pain of not having Chris in her life superseded her fears, her worries. He’d become such a part of her, she literally ached from missing him. If Jane had her way, he’d stay with her family forever.
She could only hope he felt the same.
…
It had taken what felt like a million self–pep talks for Chris to actually work up the nerve and come over to Jane’s house. Besides the constant pain he was in, which had mellowed to a steady ache, his broken ribs still made it hard to breathe and his entire body was bruised and scratched. But it was worth the pain to see her again. The gifts for the children were just an excuse. He’d bought them before the accident, and he’d planned on giving them to the kids regardless.
Regardless of the fact that their mother had run out on him when he’d been laid up in a hospital bed, half out of it on pain meds and in agony. His cracked ribs had ached like a bitch. Hell, his entire body still throbbed, even despite the pain medication. But he’d taken one look at Jane’s face when he found her standing over his bed and knew she’d been close to losing it.
And boy, had she. A major meltdown had been more like it. She’d run out of that hospital room, never to be heard from again. That had hurt, more than he cared to admit. Especially when they’d confessed their love to each other just hours before. But it had also felt like a dose of his own medicine. Hadn’t he been the one to run out on her before?
So he’d been angry—both with Jane and with himself—and he’d sulked. Confused, sad, he’d experienced the works in a matter of days.
And then he’d realized he’d be a damn fool to let her go. Not without a fight, an explanation from her, a convincing argument from him.
He might end up looking stupid and he might get dumped for good, but he had to give it at least one more shot.
She stood before him now, fidgety, shifting from one foot to the other. Looking fragile, unsure of what to say or do. And despite everything, he wanted to make it easy on her, didn’t want to put her through this any longer.
Jane was, after all, the woman he loved. The woman he wanted to marry and spend a lifetime with.
“Christian.” She cleared her throat, stood up straighter, as if gathering strength. “You must hate me.”
Her broken voice broke his heart. “I could never hate you.”
“Well.” She sniffed and shook her head. “What I did to you, how I reacted, was uncalled for. Saying I’m sorry could never make it right; I know this. I only hope that someday, you might forgive me.”
“Jane.” He waved at the couch. “Let’s sit down.”
Chris took those few extra seconds to gather his thoughts. Let what she’d just said sink in. He needed to hear that apology, but he also wanted her to admit why she’d freaked out so badly in the hospital. He needed her to come clean, for him. And for herself.
“I can’t lie to you, Jane.” He sat close to her, so close their knees bumped and he reached out, grabbed her hands, and held them in his own. “My job is dangerous. You’ve had to face that in the worst way so quickly, and I hate that. But it’s my reality.”
“I know.” She nodded, gave a little sniff as if she were near tears. He didn’t want her to cry. “You’re right.”
“If we’re going to make this work, you have to realize the dangers of my job. But there are dangers in every job. They’re everywhere. You can’t live your entire life in fear of what might happen.” He squeezed her slender hands, so small, so cold in his big, warm ones. “You have to let go and trust that everything’s going to be okay.”