She heard Mac’s voice in her ear, felt Mindy’s hand touch her arm, and she shook herself. All of the memories had slammed into her until she couldn’t separate the past from the present. She couldn’t remember if they were talking about Stephen or Chris.
It’s Chris, she reminded herself. Chris.
“Jane, he’s out of it now but he asked for you earlier.” Mac was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. “He’s at the hospital in Oakwood. I’ll come get you and take you there.”
“Why haven’t they sent him to Sacramento?” If his injuries were severe enough, they would’ve sent him to a hospital in Sacramento, she knew it. So that meant maybe he was okay.
He was okay. He had to be.
“I don’t know, Janey. I’m hoping because his injuries aren’t that bad. Eric didn’t go into details, just told me to find you fast because Chris wants you.”
“Then come get me, Mac. Hurry,” Jane urged, wanting to see Christian. Not wanting to see him, too. The idea of going to a hospital, seeing him lying there in a bed, injured, broken, maybe even—oh, God—burned, she knew she would lose it.
She was already close to losing it.
“I’ll be there in less than five minutes. I’m already headed in that direction.” Mac ended the call and Jane handed the phone back to Mindy.
“What’s going on?” Mindy’s eyes were wide. “What happened to Chris?”
“There was an accident. At the fire.” Jane felt unusually still, frozen, unable to move, barely able to think. “Mac didn’t know how bad it was. I guess Eric’s been looking for me. Christian asked for me.”
“You’re going to the hospital, then, right?”
Jane stared at her hands, her gaze zeroing in on her scarred fingers. Could she do this? She had to. She had to be there for Christian. For everyone. She was always there for everyone; it was her job. “Of course I am.”
“Jane.” Mindy nudged her shoulder. “Are you all right? You want to go inside and see the kids before you go?”
“No.” She couldn’t see them, not right now. Couldn’t deal with their endless chatter and their questions and how could she explain to them that her world was slowly falling apart all over again?
She couldn’t.
“I’ll tell them you had to go with Uncle Mac and that you’ll be back later.” Mindy squeezed her shoulder, trying to offer comfort. “Are you going to be all right?”
“Of course.” Jane still couldn’t move, couldn’t even get out of the car.
“You keep saying of course,” Mindy pointed out, her voice gentle, and Jane finally looked at her, really looked at her.
Mindy watched her, sympathy clouding her eyes, a frown on her face. She tried to smile, but Jane saw it wasn’t sincere. Which meant Mindy was worried. Well, great. Jane was worried, too.
A screech of tires sounded in the distance and Jane caught sight of Mac’s car zooming toward them. Somehow, she found the strength to pick up her purse and get out of Mindy’s car. She stood in the driveway, watching as Mac jerked to a stop on the side of the road and waved at her to hurry up.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” Mindy called from behind her and Jane wanted to agree. Tried to believe everything was going to be just fine. But it was hard, so hard, when the memories continued to slam into her brain, one after the other like some sort of bizarre super-fast slideshow. She’d thought of their children losing their parents. Of her not even hitting thirty yet and already dying. She hadn’t really lived, hadn’t done nearly everything she’d wanted to.
A sob welled up in her chest and she choked it down, refusing to cry, needing to be strong. She needed to keep a clear head. For herself and for Chris.
She could do this.
Mac peeled off like a maniac, and Jane told him to slow down. Last thing they needed was to get in an accident themselves before they even arrived.
As they got closer to the small local hospital, she felt a sense of calm wash over her, keeping her hands steady and her mind clear. The memories had faded—she’d pushed them out—and she focused ahead. Focused on Christian.
Mac pulled into the hospital parking lot and her heart skipped a beat, then another. He found a space at the end of the lot and they started the long walk to the main entrance, her footsteps faltering as they got closer.
“Are you okay?” Mac had respected her quietness. Hadn’t said a word to her during the entire drive, but he’d seen her stumble, and she tried to put on a brave face.
“I’m fine. Let’s go.”
His expression said he didn’t quite believe her, but he stayed quiet, took her by the arm, and escorted her toward the sliding glass doors that led into the main lobby of the small hospital. After some questioning, they found out Chris’s room number and went to the second floor.