“Yeah?”
“With your connections and the city’s love for the pastime, it can’t lose. You need a good manager to run things full time. A good accountant, since you’re starting a non-profit. If you and some of the other players come back for a little training time with the kids between seasons, you’ll have kids around the block, waiting for a chance to sign up and work with you.”
He covers my hand, caressing my skin with his thumb. “I never gave serious thought to anything beyond my performance. My team. Until now. I think being Rue’s father is broadening my perspective.” He pauses and looks down at our hands, then back up to me. “And you. Are you… Are we good?”
I slide my hand out from under his and cross my arms. “We’re fine. I’m glad you told me about this project of yours. I have a million ideas already. Tani will have more. Plus, I happen to know a senator—”
“Joey.”
My name is a seduction in his mouth. “No, Elliot. Not now.”
He’s too perfect. Too everything. He had one flaw, and I’m not willing to stop clinging to it yet. If I do, I’ll be lost.
He revealed so much about himself with that story. How can he be so compassionate and kind after growing up in that kind of environment? The parents he described were nothing short of abusive, as far as I’m concerned. Emotionally distant and unforgiving. Demanding perfection and giving nothing in return. It’s a damn miracle he’s as together as he is.
I can’t resist this Elliot. He deliberately made himself vulnerable, told me I was his inspiration. That I made an impact in his life, for the better. And he remembered Carol, which means he really was listening to every word I said.
I doubt I could have held out against the other one, but now I feel another thread of connection between us. And I ache for the skinny boy who never got to make his own choices.
“This is happening now.” The command in his voice brings me and my cock to attention so forcefully my knees go liquid. He reaches for my shoulders to steady me. “Two days. It shouldn’t have been this difficult to leave you alone for two days, but it was. Tell me you didn’t feel the same.”
“You’re going through a lot right now. It’s natural to want someone to—”
“Don’t do that.” He shakes me slightly, frustration etched into every line of his handsome face. “Don’t give me an out by saying my life is up in the air, and anyone would do it for me. Give us both a little more credit than that.”
I step out of his grasp. “Am I lying? Your life is up in the air. A new daughter to think about. Your career. Now this place. I won’t deny what you make me feel, but I’m trying to learn from my mistakes here. Help me out. Let me save us both from saying or doing something we’ll regret.”
He cups my jaw and presses his forehead against mine. “I’ll give you that. We couldn’t have picked a worse time to run into each other. You starting again in a new place, me starting again with Rue. Neither of us settled or sure of anything. But don’t tell me I’ll regret it, or you. I never would. I never will. No matter what comes next.”
I lean into his touch and breathe in his summer scent. His words are exactly what I want to hear, and my resolve is weakening. I have to remind myself why I can’t let that happen. “You might start regretting it if a reporter asked you about me. Or got a picture of us in that elevator. Because you’re not gay, and they don’t know you’re bi-curious.”
God, he’s so close. He’s brushing his lips over mine. “I haven’t been anything for a while, remember? Reverend Ransom the Abstinent? Now all I can think about is what we did in that elevator. And getting you on your knees.”
As soon as he says it, it’s all I can think about too. “Elliot.”
“I know.” He buries his face in the crook of my neck, making me shiver as his warm breath and stubbled jaw hit a particularly sensitive spot he shouldn’t know about. “I wanted to show you this, so you’d know how much you’ve already given me, but you’re right. I can’t promise where I’ll be next month. I can’t promise anything right now. You deserve more than that. Someone to take you out to dinner and walk you home like date number one.”
His arms circle my ribcage and he squeezes me tight. “I hate that guy. And I want you so damn bad sometimes it’s hard to breathe. But I know you’re right.”
I close my eyes at the realization that he’s agreeing with me. He’s letting me off the hook now. Giving me an out even though he doesn’t want to, because he thinks I deserve more.