Was it about me?
The thought is hard to shake. What would it be like to fuck a man like Joey?
The idea is like a shot of adrenaline, sending a tremor up my spine that’s hard to ignore. Is this another symptom of me fighting against doing what I’m supposed to do? What I’ve always done? Maybe my dick wants to hold its own rebellion, have the chance to explore something new.
I think about the bulge in Joey’s pants last night. He’d tried so hard to hide it, but it wasn’t as shy or polite as he was. It wanted to be seen. Looked like it would have some heft to it. Like it could fill my hand. My mouth.
“God.” I shouldn’t be ready for round two. I haven’t been into marathons since I was eighteen. I for damn sure shouldn’t be getting hard while thinking about licking another man’s cock. Sucking it into my mouth and letting him squirm while my fingers work to stretch his hole. Getting him ready for what comes next.
I’d want to face him. See those jumbled eyes looking up at me, dilated and vulnerable. I’d hold him down for it. Push his knees to his shoulders until his cheeks were spread wide and he was at my mercy.
“Enough.”
I take my hand off my cock and turn blindly toward the shower, dialing the spray as cold as it can get before stepping beneath it.
It doesn’t have to mean anything.
I can deny it all day long, but I’ll still know how good it felt to imagine it. How hard I got at the idea of controlling the body beneath me.
I’m grateful to Joey. I want to make sure he’s okay and spend more time with him. I want to buy him a damn beer.
I don’t want to dominate him or have sex with him. I’m not that guy.
Are you sure?
Once my teeth start chattering, I step out and dry off, changing into jeans and a team sweatshirt. With my luck back in my pocket where it belongs, I leave the apartment, lift Joey’s plastic tub and make my way downstairs to Mr. Gordon.
Damn right, I’m still taking it to him. He’d do it for me.
I get the impression he’d do it for anyone.
A part of me wants to pop the lid and see what he’s giving away. I noticed the pile of boxes in his living room last night, and it’s clear he’s not lacking in material possessions. I guess professional babysitting pays well.
My mother suggested getting a nanny about a month ago, so I could be free to train in case I got the chance to play. I think she imagined Rue and this nanny living at her house full time while I was on the road, which isn’t something I could ever allow.
Amber Ransom has always been tenacious. She’s where I get it from, only she put that talent into controlling her children’s lives. Every piece, every second, every decision until I left for college.
My sister managed to escape for a while, but she’s joined at the hip with our mother again. And my niece thinks Nana hung the moon.
I do love her, but I can’t fall into that trap anymore. She doesn’t get to take over when it comes to my child.
Mr. G is wearing a curious smile as I step off the elevator.
“How was breakfast with Mrs. Hewitt?” I ask before he opens his mouth.
He blinks, looking surprised that I asked. “Informative, as usual. And what do you have there, Mr. Ransom?”
“Joey forgot this. Mr. Redmond. He’s donating some things to a place called Bellamy House, I think, and he left this one behind in the hallway. He was in a hurry.”
“That’s a shame.”
“It is, which is why I thought I could bring it to him and spare him the hassle of having to double back.” I offer what I’m told is my signature Ransom smile. “The problem is, I’m not sure where to find him.”
His eyes narrow, but I can tell he’s intrigued. “You want to take it to him personally? I could make a call and have it delivered to the center.”
That would solve the problem, but for some reason… “I’d rather do it myself.”
“Well, the itinerary I received from his driver mentioned he was stopping for a—”
“Breakfast meeting,” I interrupt, hoping I don’t sound impatient. “He told me. How did you get the driver’s itinerary?”
I got a raised eyebrow at that. “I have my ways. And I could tell you the name of the restaurant if you don’t ask what those are.”
“Are you hungry? I could bring something back from whatever restaurant you randomly name, with ways I’ll never ask about.”
Mr. G’s lips twitch as he looks down at his laptop. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ve already eaten. May I say, Mr. Ransom, I’m glad to see that you’re in better spirits today.”