“The feeling is mutual.”
He lets go of me and, in a burst of energy that has his arms bulging and my jaw heading for the first floor, he leaps over my railing and sticks the landing back on his side like an Olympic gymnast. He even raises his hands over his head like he’s Simone friggin’ Biles.
I can’t resist. “That’s a solid ten from the judges for not going full kabob.”
I hear him laugh and he waves without turning back around, grabbing his phone and guitar before disappearing into the apartment next door. Leaving me alone and feeling like I’ve survived a whirlwind.
So that happened.
I walk back inside in such a fog, it takes me a minute to realize the buzzing in my ears is coming from the phone I left on my counter. Tani texted me five times, and the last one needs a response.
T-Diddy: If you don’t answer, I’m assuming a mob hit and calling the police. One of them is a Finn, right? I’ll name drop. I swear I will.
I type out a quick reply.
J-Pop: I’m alive. Was talking to the neighbor.
T-Diddy: Lobby Lurker?! Give me a second to get rid of my brothers and I’ll call you. This movie is so bad I can’t even enjoy their suffering.
I nod as if she can see me, mentally rolling up my sleeves and diving back into the pile as I wait. My head isn’t in it. It’s still stuck on the man who found out he was a father and started learning to play his daughter’s favorite song.
There has to be something wrong with him.
He had a one-night stand, he doesn’t know who Lizzo is, his mother sounds like Cruella and he hops over things without asking.
People hookup all the time, have different taste in music and dysfunctional families are the norm. The jumping thing is unusual but also pretty damn sexy, so that’s off the table as a flaw.
Straight. Straight. Straight.
Valid and effective. Nail-in-the-coffin effective. “That did it.”
Cardboard Quinto is staring at me with his mind-melding know-it-all gaze and I lay down the law. “I mean it. I’m not even putting him in the fantasy fodder folder.”
Fascinating.
“You shut your Vulcan mouth.”
Chapter Four
Joey
I’m weak and he’s my kryptonite.
He snuck into the fantasy folder while I was sleeping and spent the entire night ruining me for anyone else. Fantasy Elliot was demanding, creative and relentless. And that ass…
I’m still thinking about him when I wake up with a loud moan, body covered in sweat, boxers shoved to my thighs and my fist around my cock.
I think about him in the shower. Two and a half times.
The third attempt is aborted due to a leg cramp and shame.
I don’t want to talk about it.
I think about him as I get dressed—khaki pants that are snugger than usual and a casual long-sleeved crew neck—for the trip to Bellamy House after breakfast with my brother. I can wear the shit out of a good Armani, and I did schedule a few meetings with some community leaders today, but suits make JD nervous and kids don’t usually trust them either. Also, this is supposed to be a relaxing visit. Just getting the lay of the land and reporting to Tani.
I visualize Elliot Ransom in a suit and have to adjust myself with a whimper. Did someone slip some Viagra into my drink last night? I think you’re supposed to go to the hospital if your erection lasts longer than five hours. It has to be Viagra. The only other explanation for this kind of reaction is fictional and supernatural.
Not a werewolf. Can’t get pregnant.
I’m still ninety-nine percent sure of that.
I wish I knew a bookie so I could ask them what the odds are that a gorgeous, flawless, talkative man with high-jump skills and a new daughter would end up being my neighbor, even temporarily?
Because come on.
Maybe the universe is testing me.
I consider it as I push/drag four giant storage tubs made of recycled plastic across the marble floor toward the elevator.
If this was a test, and I’m not saying it is, then I’ve already passed it as far as I’m concerned. I’ve learned from my mistakes.
Lesson one: No matter how much love you give to them, it won’t work out unless they’re willing to love you back. In public. With receipts.
Lesson two: No matter how much money you spend or how many problems you fix for them, they’ll still only come over when they want a blowjob and you’ll never have a date to the charity gala.
Those might feel like the same lesson, but there are nuances. The main thrust—now I’m thinking about Elliot again—is that Tani is right. Again. And I will absolutely be taking JD up on his offer to find me the perfect openly gay man of my dreams.
Test passed. Achievement unlocked. Mission ac—