“So what’s the problem? He needs you, Autumn. Why don’t you go to him and put him out of his misery?”
He needs you.
Autumn promised Pam that she would make every effort to mend the damage to her relationship with Jeff, thanked her for calling and ended the call as soon as she could, her mind whirling with her revelation.
He needs you.
Clay needs me, too, Spring had said, not a trace of doubt in her voice.
Derek needs me as much as I need him, Summer had confidently assured her confused younger sister.
He needs you, Pam had said.
And now Autumn knew why she’d been afraid. Why she was still afraid. But suddenly she knew she had to try. Because she loved and needed Jeff Bradford.
AUTUMN HOPPED NIMBLY out of her Fiero, tugging the brim of her battered brown baseball cap low over her oversized sunglasses to shade her face from the Sunday-afternoon sun. Her auburn hair bounced defiantly around the shoulders of her yellow knit top as she strode briskly toward the front door of Jeff’s house. She punched the doorbell with a slender, short-nailed finger, listening with satisfaction as the bell chimed inside.
The man who answered the door was as beautiful as ever, but three long, lonely weeks had left their mark on his handsome face. For the first time since she’d met him almost six months earlier, Jeff Bradford looked every year of his age and more. There were lines around his blue eyes that had not been there before, a grim cast to the mouth that had always smiled so easily for her.
She had hurt him deeply.
“Autumn!” Even his voice was different when he uttered her name, raw, hoarse, thick.
Autumn reached up to remove her sunglasses, revealing her eyes to him and hoping that he could read the love brimming in them. “I wouldn’t blame you if you sent me away,” she told him quietly, her own voice rather weak. “But I’m praying that you won’t.”
His knuckles were white on the edge of the door. “I guess…that depends on why you’re here.”
“I’m here to tell you that I’ve done what you asked. I thought about us, about what I wanted for us. And I’ve decided that I want it all. That you’re worth the risks,” she told him boldly, her gaze locked with his. “Please tell me you haven’t changed your mind.”
His eyes closed for a moment, then opened to bore into her. “Come in.” He stepped back to allow her to pass him, being very careful not to touch her as she walked by. She longed to reach out to him, but she hadn’t expected him to make it that easy for her. She underst
ood. He had to be sure this time that she wouldn’t hurt him again.
In his den she pulled off her cap and dropped it and her sunglasses on a table before turning bravely to face him. “I love you, Jeff,” she told him before he could say anything.
Something that might have been hope rippled across his drawn face, but still he hesitated. “And?”
“And…I need you,” she told him steadily. “I need you so desperately. Won’t you please give me another chance?”
In answer he opened his arms, his beautiful face lighting with the smile that she had craved for the past three unhappy weeks. Autumn flung herself into those welcoming arms, her own going tightly around his neck.
“I’m so sorry, Jeff. So very sorry. I was an idiot.”
“Yes, you were,” Jeff agreed lovingly, pressing kisses along the curve of her cheek. “I missed you so much. I was afraid that you would manage to put me out of your life for good, that you’d never allow yourself to admit that you needed me in any way.”
“I need you in every way, darling. And I’m not afraid to admit it now.” She smiled tremulously up at him, her fingers stroking the silky dark hair at the back of his neck.
His eyes flared. “You’ve never called me that before. I like it.”
“I’m glad.” She tugged his head down to hers, and at last his mouth was on hers again. Their kiss was long and sweet and infinitely loving.
“Tell me why you were so afraid,” Jeff urged her long minutes later, holding her close as they sat on his wood-framed couch. “Tell me what made you change your mind.”
Autumn cuddled closer to his shoulder, one hand around his waist, the other stroking his chest. Desire was there, just beneath the surface of their contentment, but for now they needed this time to hold each other and talk. Time to heal the wounds they’d inflicted on each other.
“I don’t know if I can put it into words,” she murmured thoughtfully, trying to compose an answer that would make him understand the turmoil she’d gone through during the months since she’d met him. She tilted her head back against his arm to look at him as she spoke. “At first I was afraid of having to give up the freedom I’ve earned by being independent. I wasn’t sure what I’d have to give up to take on the new role you offered me.”
“I understand up to that point.” Jeff stroked her arm almost absently, fingers lingering at the pink scar left from her accident some two months earlier. “Sex roles are confusing and frustrating, particularly the ones that are obsolete and ridiculously restrictive. Believe me, I know.”