Hero by Nature (Reed Sisters: Holding out for a Hero 3) - Page 36

“Dumped her,” Autumn answered coldly, surprised that so much anger could remain after such a long time. “Took off for New York while she was still stuck in a wheelchair. Of course, in the long run it was the best thing that ever happened to her. She loves Derek much more than she ever loved Lonnie.”

Jeff reached for the remote control and snapped off the television. “I don’t think I’ll ever watch that show again.”

Autumn shrugged. “You don’t have to go that far. As you said, Lonnie is a very good actor. I’m sure he’ll make a big name for himself in the next few years. He’s already quite popular with the daytime viewers.”

Jeff shook his head emphatically. “I’ll never like him now. I can’t imagine any man walking out on a woman he claims to love when she needs him the most.”

Autumn looked away, knowing full well that Jeff would never walk out on the woman he loved. He would be there by her side, caring for her, encouraging her, supporting her through the hard times. And the woman who loved him would grow to depend on him, need him. Lose herself in him.

“Is that the problem, Autumn?” he asked suddenly, bringing her eyes rapidly back to his face.

“What problem?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“Your fear of commitment. The reason you’re so determinedly independent. Was your sister’s broken engagement so distressing for you that you decided to avoid the same type o

f risk yourself?”

“No, Jeff,” Autumn answered firmly, though she wondered if she had been affected more deeply by Summer’s pain than she’d realized. It had been barely a year later that Autumn had broken her own longstanding engagement. “I was engaged once myself. It didn’t work out because I’m not the type to make that kind of commitment. I started feeling threatened, smothered by the relationship. I have to be in full control of my own life, not answerable to anyone else. I like it that way.”

“You didn’t love him.” There was no question in Jeff’s statement. He looked at her with narrowed eyes, daring her to argue with him.

She shrugged. “I don’t know,” she confessed. “I thought I did at the time, but I was so young. I tried to change for him, be the kind of clinging, dependent woman that he wanted, but I couldn’t do it. He couldn’t understand why a woman would want to be an electrician, why I was fascinated by wiring and meters and cables, when he thought I should be reading recipes and attending Tupperware parties. The day after I broke our engagement was the day I felt free, really free, for the first time in my life. I haven’t allowed myself to be trapped like that again.”

“Love isn’t a trap, Autumn,” Jeff argued quietly. “And a man who truly loves you wouldn’t ask you to change.”

“How did we get on this subject, anyway?” She all but jumped to her feet and pushed her hands into her pockets. “You know, after all that’s happened today, I’m suddenly exhausted. Thanks for dinner, Jeff, but I think I’ll go on home and rest now.”

“Don’t run from me, Autumn.” He rose smoothly and caught her face between his hands, staring intently down at her. “Haven’t you understood yet that I don’t want to change you or tie you down? I love you, Autumn. I want to share my life with you. I want you to share your life with me. I would never ask you to sacrifice your happiness for me.”

“Don’t, Jeff. Please.” She tensed in pure panic at his words, though she’d been expecting them since the night they’d made love. Which was exactly why she’d been avoiding him ever since.

His hands dropped to her waist, holding her against him. “Autumn, I know you’re not ready for vows and commitments. But I won’t pretend that all I want from you is a temporary fling. I want forever. I think you’ve known that from the beginning. I think that’s why you’ve been fighting me every step of the way. You’re scared, aren’t you, honey?”

“Yes, dammit, I’m scared!” She pulled away from him and walked three quick steps backward, her arms crossed defensively at her waist. “You want too much, Jeff. I can’t give you forever.”

“Then what are you willing to give?” he challenged her.

“An affair. That’s all we have, Jeff. An affair. I’m attracted to you, you know that, and I enjoy being with you. But that’s all it is.”

He shook his head slowly, his eyes almost sad. “You’re even running from yourself, aren’t you? You won’t admit even to yourself that you might possibly need someone.”

“I don’t need anyone!” she answered sharply. “I’m perfectly content to live alone.”

“You don’t live alone,” he pointed out. “You have Babs to keep you from getting too lonely. You even sleep with her.” He knew that from experience, having spent a night with Babs curled at his feet in Autumn’s bed.

“She’s a pet. Lots of people have pets.”

“Yes,” Jeff agreed. “Loving, caring people who enjoy sharing themselves with others.” He lifted his hand in a gesture almost of appeal. “You needed me today, Autumn. And I was there for you. Was it really so bad?”

Her eyes widened, her heart jerking with a kind of shock. She immediately denied his words. “I didn’t need you. I needed a doctor, and you’re the only one I happen to know personally.”

“Autumn, if you’d just needed a doctor, you’d have taken Ryan to the emergency room at Tampa General. It’s closer to your place, after all. But you didn’t even consider that, did you? You came straight to me. You asked for me at the desk.”

“Jeff, you’re reading entirely too much into that. I told you, I came to you because you’re the only pediatrician I know.”

Jeff sighed deeply. “I’m not going to give up, Autumn. You see, I happen to need you very badly. And I’m not afraid to admit it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Our night together was the most beautiful night I’ve ever known. Don’t expect me to walk away from that.”

“Jeff, what do you want from me?” she cried, her throat tight with suppressed emotion.

Tags: Gina Wilkins Reed Sisters: Holding out for a Hero Romance
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