He paused, holding the door open. “What is it, Autumn?”
Stopping only inches from him, she touched his cheek fleetingly. “I’m very sorry about the little girl. I know it hurts you.”
He caught her hand and pressed a warm kiss into her palm. “Thank you,” he whispered roughly. “Good night, Autumn.”
“Good night, Jeff.”
“Damn. Damn, damn, damn.” Autumn dropped onto the couch and buried her face in hands. She’d known. She’d known to stay away from him! And it was her own fault that she hadn’t. She’d called him for that first date.
From the beginning she’d known the kind of man he was. Warm, sensitive, honorable. Modern in some ways, but not when it came to relationships. The man wanted a wife, a family, and now he’d decided Autumn was the woman he’d been looking for.
He was so very wrong.
Her eyes stung with hot tears she refused to shed. She didn’t want to hurt Jeff. She didn’t want to be hurt. Yet both seemed inevitable now. How could she have deluded herself into thinking there was any other possible ending to this thing between them?
He needed someone to cherish, someone to protect. She needed to take care of herself. He would be the kind of man to love with his entire heart, to center his life on that love. She was terrified of being smothered by that type of love. He needed someone to be there for him when he hurt, someone to come home to when he’d lost one of the patients he cared so deeply about. She didn’t know how to offer that kind of support. She couldn’t even help him tonight when she could see him suffering in front of her. Dammit, she didn’t know how!
A damp, cold nose pressed against her cheek, and Autumn automatically gathered the small white dog into her arms. “Oh, Babs, I’ve made such a mess of everything,” she whispered sadly. “Such a terrible mess.”
LONG HOURS LATER Jeff stepped out of his shower and rubbed a towel over his dripping hair. A weary sigh escaped him as he walked nude to his bed after patting most of the water from his body. He was so damn tired. He crawled into the bed and stretched out on his stomach, one arm draped around his pillow. He desperately needed sleep, but it was slow in coming. Part of his mind was still at the hospital, with the little girl who’d died and the family whose grief was so devastating despite the efforts they’d made to prepare themselves for this inevitable event. Yet another part of his mind was with Autumn, hoping that he hadn’t ruined everything with the impulsive declaration of his feelings.
He didn’t regret telling her that he wanted more from her than an affair. He’d never intended to pretend differently. He only hoped he hadn’t frightened her away with the ill-timed admission.
Drawing in a long, ragged breath, he burrowed more deeply into the pillow and allowed himself to drift into a pleasant fantasy in which Autumn was lying beside him, her fingers stroking his hair, her skin pressed warmly to his. The merest hint of a smile touched his lips at the thought. Someday, he promised himself as consciousness slipped away from him, someday it would happen. Surely he couldn’t need her this much and never be allowed to have her.
AUTUMN SPENT the next two weeks working until she was nearly exhausted in an attempt to convince herself that she didn’t miss Jeff, didn’t think of him every waking moment. She succeeded only in losing five pounds she hadn’t tried to lose and developing purple circles under her eyes from too many restless nights. As she’d requested, Jeff didn’t call, but she knew that he was waiting for her to call him. A dozen times she found herself standing with her hand on the telephone. She would always stop herself at the last moment from calling him, remembering the intensity in his voice when he’d told her that he wanted more from her than an affair.
She welcomed the beginning of her Christmas vacation. She had planned to leave Babs in a kennel during her visit to Arkansas, but Emily insisted on keeping the dog. Since Babs knew and liked both Emily and Ryan, Autumn was comfortable with the arrangement, and she left Tampa with a sense of optimism. Surely it would be easier not to think of Jeff when several hundred miles separated them, she thought as she boarded the plane for Little Rock Regional Airport. She hoped to return to Tampa in two weeks completely cured of her infatuation for one nearly irresistible doctor.
She arrived in Little Rock just after noon on Friday, the week before Christmas, expecting Spring to meet her at the airport as they’d arranged. Instead, she was met by a veritable welcoming committee—Spring, Clay, Summer and Derek. Laughing happily, the three sisters exchanged fervent hugs, all trying to talk at once.
“What are you all doing here?”
“We came to meet you, Sis. What else?” Summer replied cheerfully, her brilliant blue eyes dancing with mischief beneath her fringe of honey-brown bangs. “Derek and I arrived yesterday and we spent the night at Spring and Clay’s house. We thought we’
d all drive to Rose Bud together this afternoon. Spring’s closed her office for the rest of the day, and she and Clay can spend the whole weekend with the rest of us in Rose Bud, though she has to work Monday.”
“But I’ll be back in Rose Bud on the evening of the twenty-third,” Spring put in, a smile in the violet eyes that regarded Autumn through light-framed glasses. “Clay and I have both announced that we’re closing our offices from the twenty-fourth through the twenty-sixth, so we’ll have those three days to spend together, too.”
“This is great,” Autumn enthused. “Summer, I’m so glad you could make it home this year. We missed you last year.”
“Derek made sure that nothing kept us away this year. Poor thing’s worked himself half to death during the past few weeks to arrange it.”
Autumn smiled at the man behind Summer, eyeing his lean yet muscular six-foot frame and dark tan. “You look pretty healthy to me, Derek.”
Derek Anderson smiled in return, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “You know how Summer exaggerates.”
“My turn,” another male voice insisted, and then Autumn found herself caught in a hearty embrace and thoroughly kissed.
“Hi, Clay,” she managed to say when he released her amid the laughter of the others. “I see you haven’t changed a bit.”
“Nope,” the six-four, sinfully handsome blond replied cheerfully. “Why try to alter perfection?”
Spring groaned and rolled her eyes at her husband’s immodest quip.
“It’ll take us a little over an hour to get to Rose Bud,” Clay mused, glancing at his colorful Swatch watch. Then he grinned boyishly at Autumn as they walked toward the parking lot. “That’ll give you plenty of time to tell us all about the new man in your life.”
Autumn stopped in her tracks, appalled to feel herself blushing—again, dammit. As the others stared at her, she realized that it was the first time her sisters had seen her blush in years. “What…” She stopped and cleared her throat, glaring at Clay. “What new man?”