“Oh, Connie.” Summer smiled through her tears. “Don’t make me laugh now. Can’t you see I’m trying to be miserable?”
“I can’t help it. Derek would laugh, too, if he could hear what you’re saying. I think he knows lust from love.”
“But how could he be in love with me? He barely knows me, and he doesn’t approve of what he does know.”
“You’re in love with him, and the situation is the same for you,” Connie pointed out. “You haven’t known him any longer, and he’s hardly the hero you’ve been looking for. Come on, Summer, if anyone had told you a couple of weeks ago that you would fall for a somewhat stuffy, ultraconservative former bureaucrat, you’d have laughed in his face. Admit it.”
“Well, yes, but Derek’s not really like that, Connie. He has a great sense of humor; he just expresses it subtly. And he isn’t all that proper when he’s after something he really wants,” she added, remembering the jeans and leather jacket and the incredibly adventurous lovemaking.
“Just as there is more to you than you’ll allow most people to see,” Connie said succinctly. “Obviously Derek has the intelligence and good sense to see beneath your eccentric exterior to find the common ground the two of you share.”
“I’ll admit that both Derek and I have sides to us that we don’t normally put on display,” Summer conceded. “But the parts of us that are visible are real, Connie, not deliberate misrepresentations. Derek really is a conservative businessman to whom things like schedules and responsibilities are important. And I truly enjoy the crazy parties we throw and the nutty friends that we’ve made and an occasional lapse into impulsive insanity. I’m terrified that Derek would try to change me into someone more like, well, like Joanne Payne. I’m afraid we’d start to hate each other, and I couldn’t bear that.”
“If he’d wanted Joanne Payne, he’d have kept her around. It’s called compromise, Summer. It’s part of any relationship between two naturally different individuals. That’s why Stu and I didn’t make it—because neither of us would give an inch. But you and Derek could do it, if you try. You give in on the things that are particularly important to him, and he does the same for you. You attend his boring, business-related cocktail parties, and he learns to enjoy himself at your bashes. You live on his schedule during the week, and he keeps the weekends open for impulsive adventures.”
“Maybe.” Though she didn’t sound entirely convinced, Summer allowed that subject to drop. “There’s something else,” she murmured, looking down at her clenched hands. Without looking up she explained. “Do you think Derek has really stopped to think about what it would be like to be involved with a woman who couldn’t join him in all those sports he loves so much? You told me yourself when he was dating Joanne that you thought her backhand was the quality he most admired in her. I put myself on crutches for almost a month last year simply by playing a sedate game of volleyball. If Derek loves sports so much, he’s going to want to continue to participate in them. And, while I wouldn’t mind occasionally, I sure don’t want to spend all my leisure time sitting on the sidelines. That may be selfish, but I can’t help it. I’m a doer, Connie, not a watcher.”
“Compromise,” Connie reminded her. “You find things that you can do together. Like swimming. You’ve always been overly sensitive about your limp, Summer. It doesn’t make that much difference to the people who care for you. Tell me, Summer, did you discuss these things with Derek tonight?”
“No,” Summer admitted. “I ran. I just knew I had to give him time to be absolutely sure about his feelings for me.”
“But you did tell him that you love him, didn’t you?”
Summer squirmed. “No.”
“Oh, great. He’s probably as miserable as you are right now. Maybe he thinks you’re the one who couldn’t possibly love him, and you’re trying to find a way to break it off gently.”
I’m no hero, right? Derek had asked with pain in his deep voice. Summer winced as she realized how badly her instinctive rejection had hurt him after he’d opened up enough to tell her that he loved her. Especially after the lovemaking they’d just shared. God, what a mess, she moaned inwardly.
“Maybe you do need the time, Summer,” Connie said gently. “Time to work out your fears. But don’t shut Derek out. Talk to him like you’ve talked to me tonight. If you’re going to work this out, you’re going to have to do it together.”
“Connie, when did you suddenly get so wise?” Summer asked with a watery smile. “And why are you pushing me into your brother’s arms?”
Connie grinned. “Are you kidding? This is the best thing that ever happened to me. If you marry Derek, I’ll have the world’s greatest sister-in-law and you’ll keep him so busy that he’ll never find the time to rearrange my life for me. You’ll be happy, Derek will be happy, my parents will be happy and I’ll be happy. This is great!”
“Connie, you’re dreaming, but thank you. I really needed to talk this out with someone.”
“Anytime, kid.”
“If you ever need a shoulder…”
Connie stood and sighed melodramatically. “Offer Wednesday night after my date with Joel. I might need it then.?
?
“You think there’s a chance that you and Joel could get serious?”
“Who knows? You and Derek are living proof that stranger things have happened.”
Summer was almost surprised to hear herself laugh.
“Thanks a lot, friend.”
Connie paused in the doorway on her way out. “Would it hurt to call Derek and wish him sweet dreams? I hate to think of my big brother crying himself to sleep.”
Summer laughed again, as she’d been meant to do, and watched Connie leave. She spent a few minutes in contemplation of true friendship before stripping off her jeans and top and pulling on a pale blue nightgown. The silky fabric felt especially sensuous against her skin still sensitized by Derek’s lovemaking. The memories that flooded her mind made her tremble. She stared at the telephone on her nightstand. She reached for the receiver, pulled back, drew a deep breath and reached out again.
10