“You better get comfortable, Pie is Life.” Pell chuckles. He likes that stupid joke. “We’ll be here for months the way this is going.”
I look back at Tomas. “You really don’t want me to kiss you? Because if you really feel that way, then I’ll be the loser.”
“Tomas is the loser here. He’s just afraid you’ll figure out what he is.”
Tomas growls. “Shut up, Pell.”
“What he is? A kiss can tell me that?”
“No.” Tomas huffs. “The kiss isn’t gonna tell you anything. It’s not the kiss. I would love to kiss you, Pie. But…”
“But?”
“But it’s not fair. And Pell knows this. He’s setting us up.”
Pell laughs. “Like I care.”
“That’s the problem,” Tomas snaps. “You don’t care. But I do. I’m not going to kiss her. And I’m not going to let her kiss me. Not like this.” And then he points to himself.
“Not like… what?” I ask. Then it hits me. “Not in this body? What’s wrong with that body? I like it, Tomas. I think you’re super sexy.”
Pell guffaws.
“What?” I look at Pell, then Tomas, then back at Pell.
Tomas finally sighs. “There’s nothing wrong with this body.”
“I mean, you are kind of a dragon,” I say. “So there’s that. But all in all, it’s a good look for you.”
Pell is laughing again. But Tomas looks crushed.
I crawl over to him, realizing that I’m giving Pell a pussy shot when I do this. I quickly push that thought out of my head and sit down next to Tomas. “What did I say? I don’t understand. Did I hurt your feelings? Tell me.”
Tomas stares straight ahead, looking at the window. The curtains are still billowing, but there’s no light passing through them, so it must be night time wherever we are. “You know what,” he finally says. “Fuck it.” Then he looks straight at me. “Fuck it. I’ll just tell you.”
“Fuck it. Yeah. Tell me what’s going on.”
He sucks in a deep breath and holds for a moment, then lets it out. “I’m not human.”
“Mmhmm. OK. I mean, hello? I think I knew that.”
“No.” He’s shaking his head. “You don’t understand. I mean… I’m not human.”
I don’t want to look at Pell for clarification, but I can’t stop myself. He’s sitting up again, but he puts both hands in the air. “Don’t look at me.” Then he points at Tomas. “And don’t you look at me either. I was trying to do you a favor, friend. And”—he shrugs—“fine. I thought watching you two kiss would be hot. I swear, it wasn’t a setup. I just wanted to see her kiss you.”
“Wait.” Did I hear that right? I think I did because this entire conversation is a total buzzkill. “You wanted to watch us kiss? So you could… what? Jerk off?”
Pell’s eyes are dancing. “Do you want me to jerk off while I watch you kiss him? Because that might be hot.”
This makes Tomas laugh. And when I look back at him, his frown is gone. “You’re a sick freak, Pell.”
“Just let her kiss you, Tomas.”
“No.” Tomas looks at me. “It’s not fair, Pie. You think I’m this hot human-dragon chimera. And I’m not.”
“Well, what are you?” I ask.
He sighs. “Haven’t you guessed yet? I mean, look at me.”
I look at him. “Yeaaaah. OK. I don’t get it.”
“This isn’t me. That guy I look like downstairs isn’t me either. I’m a dragon, Pie.”
“A big, scaly, red, smelly, blood dragon,” Pell adds. “And in case you’re not all up on the different kinds of dragons, the blood dragon is the worst. They are—”
“Fuckin’ A, man,” Tomas protests. “You will never be my wingman again.”
“You’re my wingman.” Pell laughs. “And let’s just get it all out there because I’m tired of this conversation. It’s not a big deal. He lives in the dungeon. This”—Pell waves a hand at Tomas—“this body—all the bodies he’s in—they’re just shells he walks around in every now and then. Didn’t you notice he was missing for days? That’s because he used up all his magic and had to revert back to the blood dragon in the dungeon to rest so he could make another shell. That’s why he’s never been kissed. He’s not even real. He’s an animal.”
Tomas says nothing. And when I look at him, he’s just looking down at his hands in his lap. His fingers are playing with a misdirected scale over his knee. And this distracts me, so for a while I just say nothing.
“See,” Tomas finally says. “That’s why I don’t want you to kiss me. It’s exactly like he says. I’m not real. This is a shell. I’m a stinking, filthy fucking dragon who has been chained in the dungeon of Saint Mark’s Sanctuary for over two thousand years. They didn’t make this place to hold Pell and his ilk. They made it to hold me. All the other monsters just ended up here because the prison was already made.” His head lifts up and his eyes find mine. “So. Now you know. And I’m the loser, not you.”