He hesitates. But quickly recovers and begins speaking in a breathless rush. “I’m living a dream life, Pie. I started renting storage units on the outskirts of Pittsburgh four decades ago. I used the fake money to buy very expensive things. Watches, jewelry, art, cars. Collectibles. And then I sold it. I have made millions of dollars during my time at Saint Mark’s. And not only did I get to keep it all when you answered my ad, I got my youth back too. The Book of Debt is bullshit. I have a spell that erased my debt and every moment I spent under the influence of the curse. If you invite me back in, I will give you that spell. You can stay, use the fake money to build your own fresh start, then leave when you’re ready. I will catch you another caretaker.”
Wow. I scoff at him. Because greed, right? It’s sadly… predictable. Everything he just said goes back to greed. His amateur offer is a joke. “I’m not even remotely interested in using magic to find success. It kind of defeats the whole point of success, in my opinion. And I don’t need you to catch me another caretaker, Grant. I already know where one is.”
“What?” His word comes out sharp and fast.
“I’m not letting you in. You’re… I don’t know. Wrong, somehow. I don’t want anything to do with you or your fake plan.” I pull out my phone, press nine and one. “Now get out of my way or I will press that last digit and Eileen will answer, and I will tell her to send Sheriff Roth over to the candle shop parking lot. And then I will tell him you tried to attack me. And he will believe me, Grant. Because you’re a sketchy-looking dude. I’m sure this town already knows there’s something wrong with you. I bet you Sheriff Russ Roth would be more than happy to lock you up if I tell him what you did.”
“You’re a sneaky little liar, you know that? I’m just trying to help you.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m not lying. I’m just jumping the gun a little. Because if I hang around you for much longer, I’m one hundred percent certain you will attack me. Now get out of my way.”
“You’re making a big mistake. I’m telling the truth. And you’re gonna figure that out quick. But hey.” He throws up his hands, palms out, like he’s surrendering. He steps aside. “You’re not even real. You’re just a crazy girl with an imaginary bird for a best friend, so you’re probably doing the whole world a favor by locking yourself in the loony bin with the monsters.” Then he tips his imaginary hat to me and walks off.
I get in my Jeep and drive out of town towards the sanctuary.
I spend most of the drive trying not to think about what just happened, but it’s inevitable.
He’s stupid. I’m not real? That’s insanity. I’m the only thing that is real. He’s not real. None of this curse stuff is real. In fact, nothing after I woke up from the Halloween party is real. It’s all a bad dream or… or…
Shit. I missed the turnoff into the forest where the road to the back entrance is. But instead of turning around, I stop outside the front gate of Saint Mark’s and just look at it.
The moon is sizable enough. Don’t know if it’s growing or shrinking, but it’s bright enough that I can see the building pretty clearly. From out here, it doesn’t look like a cathedral. Not the way it does in the back.
It’s all an illusion. And if I could just find a way to peel back the pretty paper over those imaginary walls, I’d see what’s hiding underneath.
But I won’t do that, will I?
I like the delusion, don’t I?
That’s why I keep Pia around, isn’t it?
I flip a bitch, find the road into the forest, and then slowly make my way back to the lake and the gate, and the unreal life I’m living here at Saint Mark’s.
I don’t know what just happened back in town. I don’t think I want to know what just happened back in town. I don’t even want to know what’s happening out here.
Something is wrong with Grant. That’s why he wants back in.
Something is wrong with Tomas. That’s why he’s missing.
And something is wrong with Pell too. Fucking pleasure book or whatever.
It’s all nuts.
I’m nuts.
This is the thought that lingers in my head.
Me. This isn’t about them. They’re the ones who aren’t real.
This is about me and I’m insane.
Just like they all said when I was little.
Only now, I can’t control it. My delusions have taken over my reality. That little hallucination with the sheriff tonight? That’s proof.
He’s not some weird love monster! I’m. In. Sane.