“What was that?”
“And a few other things. None of your business.”
I surrender with both hands up. “Fine with me. And thank you.”
He nods. Then he stares at me for a few moments. And I swear to God, this man—monster, whatever he is—he’s so… unsettling. His eyes are this yellow-orange color that remind me of flowing lava. And they have this draw to them. Like you don’t ever want to look away. You just want to stare back at him and get lost in those eyes. “What?” I ask. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
He changes the subject. “Did you look up satyr?”
“I did.”
“And now you understand?”
“I guess.”
His face is very expressive and sometimes he looks very human. Like, if he didn’t have those horns, and he wasn’t so tall, I’d just assume he was human because his lower half is almost entirely hidden by the alchemy bench.
“You guess?” he asks. “What part isn’t clear?”
“No. I get it. You were made… lewd, and promiscuous, and highly sexualized. It’s who you are.”
“It’s who I am.”
“So…” I let out a long exhale. “I’m sorry. I won’t ask you to wear pants again.”
And again, he just stares at me.
“Why are you looking at me that way?”
“I’m trying to calculate how big of a mistake you’re about to make. And if I should interfere and forbid you from going, or if I should just…” Now he sighs. “Let it go.”
“And?”
“I’m letting it go. But this is bad. And things are going to come of it. I can feel it. That eros is going to be trouble.”
“Maybe… maybe… I should just date him,” I say. Pell growls. “I mean, for like two weeks. Let it run its course, then we break up, he’s over me, we move on…” I shrug. “Telling him no might spark some kind of male competitive gene.”
I can tell that Pell the monster hates this idea. But I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t want me dating, or if he’s just truly concerned about me being around Russ Roth.
“I’m going to leave it up to you.”
Now it’s my turn to do the eyebrow raise. “You are?”
He nods. “Whatever you think is best. But here’s the catch. If he comes here, I will kill him. I will pull his arms and legs off and feed them to…” But he pauses here. “Never mind who.”
“Wait.” I put up a hand. “Hold on. Is there another monster here who eats people? Because if so, I think I need to know that.”
“There is not.”
“It was a euphemism?”
“Consider it that.”
“OK. Well, that wasn’t weird. But I get it. If I fuck this up, he dies.”
Pell points at me. “Exactly. And you? You will be punished. Because I don’t like killing things. And if you make me do it, I will make sure that debt goes on your account.” He taps the stone counter with his finger to illustrate how serious he is.
I swallow hard and nod. “Got it.”
“And it will cost you dearly. My services don’t come cheap.”
“I said I get it.”
“Good. Now state your plan back to me. Just so we’re clear.”
“I’m gonna have dinner with the sheriff. Be nice to him.” I point at Pell. “I will not give up any secrets and I will not be too nice. I definitely won’t send any of the wrong signals. I will steer him towards the friend zone, but if it feels like he’s interested in more, we will fake-date while I simultaneously do a total How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days on him.”
Pell says nothing.
“That means drive him away. It’s a cultural reference—”
“I know what it means. I’ve seen the movie.”
“You’ve watched How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days?”
He shrugs. “I’m a prisoner in a cursed sanctuary. Not a hermit.”
“O-kay. Got it. You’re hip and cool.” I put the amulet around my neck. “And of course, it’s all gonna be fine. Because now I’m under your breathy erection protection.” I snort a little.
He almost smiles.
Damn. Tough room.
“I will prepare for the inevitable dismembering.”
“That’s not gonna happen,” I counter. “I’ve got it covered.” I take off my apron, throw it on the counter, and scoot towards the door. “I better get going so I can get ready.” And then I dart out before he can say anything else or force me to look at his stupid dick.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN - PELL
I wait until she’s all the way down the stairs, then start cleaning up the apothecary. I don’t use this stuff, but I like things in their place. There is no possible way I can walk out and leave it looking like this. The apothecary is essential for what we do here. Which is curse-breaking. She needs to be mindful of our goals. If she ever leaves this place a mess like this again, I’ll put it on her debt so she will think about her work flow.