"I knew you would." Her eyes shut again. "I know you love me."
Aurelia remained asleep for the rest of the ride, but I had never been so awake. Every sense in my body was focused on understanding what had just happened. If what she said could be understood at all, which I doubted.
Because somehow, Aurelia knew my feelings, in words I couldn't even figure out how to form on my tongue.
Stranger still, she didn't seem to object. Whatever that meant, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.
If Livia were here, I'd have asked her advice for what to do next. And I already knew how she'd answer. She'd giggle and tell me to figure it out for myself, suggesting the answer was within me. Well, it wasn't. Magic was in me, and right now there wasn't room for anything else.
I was no longer holding on to Callistus's horn. Aurelia had clearly healed from the wound, and, I realized, so had I. The Divine Star was as strong as ever and with it, I searched for Radulf.
"I know where you're going," he said into my head. "Do not open the door for them. Do not awaken the Mistress."
"My options are narrowing," I thought back to him. "Please come. I need your help."
He didn't answer, but I felt him then, why he wasn't here. It was fear that caused him to hesitate, and not fear of the Praetors when they got close enough to him. No, he was afraid of the Mistress. Just knowing that Radulf trembled to think of her, my heart pounded harder too. I would do what had to be done at Atroxia's temple; indeed, there was really no choice at this point. But I would not awaken her.
Once we left the smoother main road to head into Valerius's vineyard -- or Crispus's vineyard now, I supposed -- the canter of the unicorn changed, and Aurelia awoke. She yawned and smiled up at me until she realized that I had been holding her in my arms. Then she sat up straight and mumbled an apology. She clearly did not remember the words she had spoken before. How odd that was, considering I would never forget them.
"It feels like I've been in a bad dream," she said. "How much of it was real, after the chariot race?"
"All of it."
"Did you tell me that you're going to take the Malice?"
"Yes. We already had an entire argument about it, and I won. You admitted it yourself, that I'm usually right."
She smirked, and then said, "I'd never be delirious enough to say that. I remember saying that you never listen to me. And I told you that --" Now she went silent for much longer, an uncomfortable few seconds that might've been hours for the way my breath had lodged in my throat. Finally, she said, "I thanked you for saving my life, I think."
"Something like that, yes."
No, it was nothing like that. But it was a lie we could both agree to remember. For now.
When I told Callistus to stop, Aurelia looked back at me. "What's wrong?"
I slid off Callistus's back, saying, "This is as far as you go."
"I can still help you."
She started to get off too, but I shook my head. "No, you can't help me now. And you won't."
"If you're alone with all those Praetors --"
"I'd rather be alone than try to figure out how to protect you."
"Protect me? How many times have I saved you from them?"
"Far too many. If you do it one more time, I will be in so much debt to you that I'll never be able to pay it back. So please, stay here. Please, Aurelia."
Brutus wasn't that far ahead, and when he heard our argument, he looked back at Aurelia. "Nicolas goes on with us alone."
Aurelia glared at me, even though I could've continued the argument with another dozen reasons why I was saving her life.
I gave Callistus a pat on his neck and said, "Don't let anything happen to her."
Callistus tossed his head in agreement, but I knew even an animal of the gods could not stop Aurelia from doing as she wanted.
"Leave now," I said to them both, then turned my back to walk the rest of the way to Valerius's field.