His expression became somber, and suddenly he seemed much older than he had before. "Lord Endrick's power extends beyond the Antoran border. If we do not join with him, we face destruction. Reddengrad is a strong country and we could hold out for a long time. But if Endrick is immortal, in the end, he will always win."
I tried to smile that away, but could not. "So the reward for marriage is preservation of your country."
"Those are the terms of our marriage, but the reward is you." He released my wrist but took hold of my hands instead. The flesh of his palms was softer than mine, like holding on to flower petals. It was odd, and not the least bit attractive.
My pulse quickened as I tried to figure out how we had suddenly gone from a bland discussion of books to a moment that had nothing whatsoever to do with being in this library. All I could think about was Simon's warning, that Basil was not who he appeared to be.
Simon clearly didn't like Basil, but I wondered if that was because Basil clearly liked me. Was Simon jealous? Had his feelings for me changed?
Had mine changed? I hadn't truly hated Simon for several hours, despite a sincere effort to do so. Twice during supper, I had thought about the unruly lock of hair that had fallen to his forehead. My father would hate it, which somehow made it even more appealing. Then, in the gardens, when Simon had stepped closer, and his fingers brushed against mine, I could feel his nearness tugging at me, sending warm shivers through my belly. Had he reached for my hand deliberately? I wondered. I hoped.
When had all this changed?
Basil whispered, "May I kiss you, Kestra?"
He was still here? And he wanted to kiss me? I was supposed to be looking for a diary. Also, I had no intention of marrying Basil, so it was unfair to allow him to think otherwise.
Unfair, but necessary.
I forced a smile to my face and lifted my chin. He pressed his lips to mine with all the romance of kissing a clam. When he pulled away, he took my hand and kissed it too, as if a second touch to my lips might be too much to expect.
"I will make you happy, Kestra," he said.
That was nice, but I'd be happier if a book covered in pink satin spontaneously ejected itself onto the floor.
"I'd like to ask your father to move up the wedding date," he continued. "It's supposed to be another year away, but I don't see why we should wait."
Would we wait longer than three days from now? If so, what did I care when the date would be?
"Please do," I said.
He smiled and went in for another kiss, but by then, I had returned to studying the shelves. He missed, and sort of got my ear, then pretended he had meant to do that.
A knock came to the door, which startled us apart, but before either of us could reply, Simon poked his head in. Of course he did. He wouldn't have been far away. He gave a quick look from Basil to me, surely noticing how close we were standing to each other, but all he said was "Sir Henry has just arrived. I suggest you both leave."
Basil must've seen the worry in my eyes, for he immediately agreed, and hurried us out of the library. He bowed to me in the hall, saying, "I'll speak to your father about the new wedding date."
"I'll go to my room,
" I said. "I'm tired now." Which was true, but hardly the reason I was leaving so quickly.
Simon fell in beside me, escorting me toward the stairs up to my room. Once we got a safe distance away, we slowed down. With a terse edge to his voice, he asked, "Any luck?"
"No."
"Maybe the diary isn't in there."
"But it's the place to start. I'll try again in the morning. I only had the chance to examine a few of the shelves tonight."
"In all the time you were in there? What else were you doing?"
I stopped and released his arm. "Turning cartwheels, of course!" He squared his body to mine and his eyes sparked with anger. So this was jealousy, and a ridiculous jealousy at that. Basil was as significant as a pincushion, a sea sponge. A bluster of wind, nothing more. Yet, although it bothered me to realize that Simon cared what had happened, even worse was the realization that I cared what he thought might have happened.
Well, let him wonder. I said, "You have no right to ask me about anything other than what is necessary to get that dagger. Remember that, Simon."
"Everything affects whether you'll find that dagger! I'll ask you whatever I want."
"And I'll refuse to answer." I strode forward, determined to outpace him. "I can find my own way to my room. I don't want to see you anymore tonight."