I turned to leave, but Simon moved so as to block my path and to keep himself in front of me. “I’m afraid of your magic, yes, of what it means for your future, but what I feel for you”—he stopped, as if overcome by his own words—“is so much more than simply caring.” Now he took my hand in his, adding, “I wanted to share your life, share in every moment I could. I start each day hoping you will be there. I haven’t ended a day since we parted without torturing myself by wondering where you are.”
There was no more fear in his eyes, no more suspicion or silent accusations against me. All I saw was tenderness and affection. I gave his fingers a squeeze and he smiled, but it was hollow and forced. Something was still terribly wrong, I just didn’t know what it was.
From wherever she was stationed, Trina called out, “It’s almost time.”
I nodded, accepting my fate. It was good they had kept track of the time, because I’d almost forgotten about it.
Simon grabbed my arm, pulling me back. “You’re not going out there. Henry saw you storm into the clearing a few minutes ago, how upset you were. Harlyn convinced him that you left the battle.”
That was why she’d ridden out there? I was missing something. “Henry set new terms?”
He nodded. “They favor us. He’s agreed to release the Coracks, and all our fighters here can leave in peace. We couldn’t have hoped for more.”
My eyes narrowed. “What did we promise him in exchange?” It must have been something big, and if it wasn’t me …
Simon kicked at the leaves beneath his feet and my heart sank. “No, Simon. You are not taking my place!”
“I’m not as valuable a prize to the Dominion as you’d be, but I’m enough for them to claim some sort of victory.”
Anger rose in me. “I have no value as Infidante. I still don’t know where the Olden Blade is. I have few friends and even fewer people I can trust. Nowhere is safe for me, especially now that I have magic.”
He shook his head. “I’ve made the agreement with Sir Henry. Let it be.”
“I will not! He won’t save the Coracks, he probably won’t even end the fighting. Your agreement is madness.”
Simon gestured toward the valley below us. “This battle is madness! The fact that we continue fighting despite everything Lord Endrick has done to us is madness!”
“It’s nothing to what he’ll still do if he is not stopped.”
“Yes, he must be stopped. That’s why you have to live.”
“No, you listen to me!” I felt how quickly each second was passing before I’d lose him all over again. “I can’t fight him alone. I came here for you. I came to save you.”
“Kestra—”
“How could you make such a foolish bargain?”
“I did it for you!” He drew in a sharp breath. “If I go out there, you will live.”
Silence followed his words and every thought in my head emptied, except for one: This was for me.
He stepped closer and wiped the tears from my cheek. “You will defeat Endrick one day.” How tender his voice was, how gentle. “I wish I could be there to see it.”
“Don’t do this,” I said.
He shrugged. “It’s done.”
“Not for me. Your mother’s life was a sacrifice so that I would live. Do you know how that tortures me? I will not play these games of whose life is most valuable.”
Now Trina crossed the ridge and coughed to get our attention. “We have to go, Simon.”
He nodded and started to climb up to her, but turned back long enough to say, “Your life is most valuable. If necessary, we will all die for you.”
Words that would haunt me forever. Unless …
I waited until he crossed the ridge, then started off in a different direction, immediately bumping into Huge, who must have been sent to keep me here.
I folded my arms and in my sternest voice said, “How will they do it?”