I pulled back on the horse and Gabe rode ahead without looking back. If he’d intended to hurt me, he’d succeeded, not because he was unkind, but because he was right. His words soaked through me, draining me of any remaining shreds of pride.
What was I supposed to do? If Gabe liked the idea of turning me over to the Halderians, then as soon as I knew Simon was safe, I needed to escape. But where? The idea of returning home, to a place that would celebrate me for what I’d done to Simon, turned my stomach.
We were leaving the Drybelt now. Although a few slots still lay ahead of us, they were shallower, and patches of farmland gradually appeared ahead along with trees and small streams. Which meant we should see homes soon too. Perhaps I’d find someone to take me in until I sorted out my thoughts.
Absentmindedly, I fingered the necklace from Endrick. I’d never seen a gray pearl like this one, so it had to be worth a great amount of money. I might not find many Loyalists out here, but I’d surely find plenty of Antorans who’d temporarily shift their politics for a bribe.
Except that Lord Endrick had instructed me to always wear it, and I’d never go against the orders of my king.
But … what if I did?
When I looked up again, Gabe had ridden on far ahead of me. I shook the reins until the horse picked up its pace. The last thing I wanted was too much time to think, because every question led to a hundred more questions, and those I could answer left me feeling emptier and more hopeless than before.
As promised, Gabe rode fast, keeping us in a southeastern direction for most of the day. He only stopped once, to let his horse drink from a water hole left by last night’s rain. By the time I caught up, he was already headed away.
“Is Simon still alive?” I called. Gabe gave no answer, but he continued riding, so I hoped for the best.
He slowed again in the late afternoon as we entered a valley of good farmland, largely hidden by a few remaining slots, their walls as steep as the others but not nearly as tall. In the distance, a small farmhouse was nestled within a pocket of thick trees. A friendly looking dog with brown spots ran out to greet us, sending chickens scurrying in all directions. I assumed this must be Rutherhouse, though the name seemed far too grand for this humble place.
As he was still riding up, Gabe called out and a woman ran from inside the home. She immediately rushed to Simon, asking questions faster than Gabe could answer them. He slid off his horse and pulled Simon down, then carried him inside the home.
I had no idea what to do next. Simon had told Gabe to bring me here, which technically, Gabe had done. I didn’t dare invite myself inside. How would that go, if I knocked on the door and announced that I was the one who had nearly killed Simon, and could I come in for some tea and scones? Nor did I dare leave. I had nowhere to go.
I tied my horse to the fence post, then stood beside it for what seemed like hours. The woman’s dog stared at me for most of that time, and I began to wonder if it sensed the kind of person I truly was and considered itself on guard duty. Around me, the sun was dipping low and the early evening felt chill. It was going to be a cold night. And I might be left out in it.
Gabe had used the blankets from our camp to pad Simon’s ride here. I had the fire starter, but if it was true that I was inherently troublesome, then I’d likely start a small fire, which would spread to the house and not only finish off Simon but also Gabe and the woman who was inside tending to him. I left the fire starter inside the saddlebag and wrapped my arms around myself for warmth.
Several minutes later, the door opened and Gabe stood in the entry, looking anywhere but at me. “You might as well come in.”
“How is Simon?” I’d been desperate to ask the question, though I was terrified of the answer, and when it came, it offered little comfort.
“I don’t know. Tillie says we’ll have to watch him all night.”
“I can help.”
“You’ve already helped him more than enough. Come inside, you’re letting the heat out.”
Finally, I took a step forward, though I wouldn’t look at him either. “Tillie. Is that the woman who tends this inn?”
“You’re Kestra?” The same woman I’d seen before rounded the corner now, brushing her hands on her simple apron before holding out her arms for an embrace. Her hair was capped and her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes were full of kindness and sympathy. “If I’d known you were out there, I would’ve sent for you sooner.” She hugged me tight, though my arms were caught in her grip, so I stood there stiffly until she released me. “Goodness, child, I can feel the cold in your bones. I have a room where you can bathe and get warm again.”
“Simon—”
Her eyes darted to a room at the back of the small home. “I’ve done all I can for him. He needs to rest.”
“Can I see him?”
“No,” Gabe said firmly. Then with a kinder tone, he said to Tillie, “I’ll stay with Simon.”
Tillie nodded, then led me to a room with a small basin tub in one corner. “It’s not as fancy as what you’re used to, and there’ll be no one to tend to you, but I do have a clean dress from my daughter that should fit you. There’s some water over my fire. I think it’s hot enough to start a bath.”
I shook my head. “Let me help with Simon. I don’t need a bath.”
She smiled. “Yes, you do, child. All of you do. It?
?s a wonder the Coracks aren’t taken out with disease, the way some of them care for themselves.”
“I’m not a Corack. I’m a Dallisor, and I promise that once I’m home, my father will reward you for—”