I stood as well, but I didn't want to leave, not now. Had Aurelia prearranged for Crispus's mother to get me out of the room, or was it just a coincidence? I looked to Aurelia for an answer, but her head was still down as if suddenly fascinated by the tile floor.
"Will you escort her?" Crispus asked me.
What else could I say?
"Of course." I held out my arm to his mother, but as I led her from the room I gave one glance back at Aurelia. Her hands were wrapped so tightly around the satchel that her knuckles were white. Yes, they were going to discuss the bribe without me there. I hated this.
We walked most of the way to his mother's room in silence. I barely knew her and couldn't think of what I might say. Again I wondered, should I apologize for not being able to save Valerius in that battle? For bringing the battle to her property in the first place? For being here now? How could I possibly apologize for one fault without making myself even more guilty of the rest?
As we neared the door, his mother stopped, released my arm, and said, "Do you know why I asked you to walk with me?"
Because Aurelia asked you to? Because she and your son have a plan and all I can do is frustrate them? Because I was never supposed to be here in the first place?
Those were the things I did not say. I'd learned many times that speaking usually led to greater problems in my life. So instead, I only shook my head at her.
His mother's eyes darted from left to right and she licked her lips. "I must be honest with you. I don't understand my son's friendship with you, just as I never understood my husband's interest in your ... in the things you can do."
What did she expect me to say to that? Crispus had always been a loyal friend, but that was not true of Valerius. The help he had given me was only because he wanted some control over my magic.
She continued, "However, it's obvious that you have a significant role to play in the future of Rome, so Crispus says we must do all we can to help you succeed."
"Thank you," I mumbled, not sure of what exactly I was thanking her for. More than anything, I wished I could just leave this conversation, and possibly leave this home.
"But in return for our kindness, I have a request. You must not let anything happen to my son. He's all I have left."
I scuffed my sandal against the floor. "Crispus offered us your family's home up in Britannia. Would you consider coming too?"
"If Crispus stays in Rome, I will stay. If he goes to Britannia, I will go," she said. "My husband always believed Crispus could be made into a politician in time. I know his interests lay elsewhere."
"He's a good person," I told her. "And as you say, a great friend."
"He values your friendship as well," she said. "So much that he has risked everything to protect you: our family's honor, our fortune, his very life." She drew in a sharp breath, and I stood facing her, feeling worse than ever. "My husband is gone, Nic. You couldn't save him, I know, but do you not care that my son is in danger too?"
Almost unable to breathe, I stepped back. If she were speaking in anger, I could have countered in anger, telling her that Valerius had involved his family with me, and not the other way around. But she wasn't angry. She was a mother as terrified for her family's future as my mother was afraid for Livia and me. I couldn't blame her for those feelings, nor could I escape my own faults for the reason she felt this way. I had no idea what to say to her.
She reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. "Promise that my son will live. You gave Radulf his life back, but not my husband. When the time is right, will you promise to give Crispus his life back?"
I had promised Radulf to destroy the amulets.
Promised Aurelia that I would live.
And promised nearly everyone I'd ever known that I would never make a Jupiter Stone.
In the end, I would likely break all those promises. But I fully intended to keep this one.
"Crispus will get his life back," I said. "He deserves that much."
"In every possible way, Nic. Give him his life back."
I understood her full meaning. If Crispus became seriously injured, I had just promised to heal him, which of course I would do if it was at all within my power. But there was more. She was asking me to allow Crispus to continue on with his life, as it would have been if I had never entered it. She was asking me to leave and not return.
I bowed politely to her as she left for her room, then hurried back to the triclinium to find Crispus, Aurelia, and Livia huddled in close around Nasica. Even Livia was allowed to stay?
Crispus looked up when I entered, eyes widened in alarm, as if I were a soldier here to arrest them for bribery, rather than a friend.
He shook his head in a warning to stay out of their negotiations, and Livia motioned me over toward her. Aurelia didn't seem to have noticed me at all. When I stood behind her, I saw the contents of her satchel, opened and spread out on the table. It was a thick papyrus scroll, rolled out, and from what I could tell, detailed the entirety of her family's inheritance.
"A year's wages is more than fair," Aurelia was saying. "You see that I can pay it."