I stood, so suddenly that my knees bumped into the table, nearly spilling my mother's drink on the table.
"What's wrong?" Livia asked. "Nic, let us help you."
"You can help me by leaving," I said. "The carriage will come to take you away soon. Gather your things."
Before they could protest any further, I hurried out the door. Aurelia had been in the atrium, refusing to come in with us. But when she saw me coming, she turned away and folded her arms. She still looked angry, but the worst she could do was push me into the atrium pond.
"I'm not speaking to you," she said.
"That's fine, but I must speak to you." I took her by the elbow and led her into a quiet wing of the atrium. "Last night, Radulf made me promise to destroy the Malice. He believes it's the only way to get the Mistress to leave me alone, to leave all of us alone."
Aurelia's fists clenched, but she was listening. "What about the bulla, and the Divine Star?"
"They're valuable, but it's the Malice she wants."
"If you destroy it, the Mistress might know you're defenseless and attack. You'll have no way of stopping her."
"Which is the best reason to keep the Malice. Without the Malice, I also never could've healed Radulf or made all three of us disappear from Diana's temple."
"Do you think Radulf is right, that if the Malice is destroyed, the Mistress will leave you alone?"
"I don't know, but he's usually right about these things."
Aurelia's nose wrinkled. "He's never right. He's the one who wanted you to find the Malice in the first place."
"That was when he had magic too. When the Mistress had him, I think she told him things that made him understand her plans for the Malice. And her plans for me." I blew out a slow breath. "Aurelia, destroying the Malice might save my life or cost me my life. Keeping the Malice could go either way as well. I don't know what is the right choice."
She shook her head. "And you want me to decide for you?"
"Of course not! I only had a question."
Her eyes narrowed. "What?"
I stepped closer to her, speaking low enough that no one other than she would hear me. "Do you want to marry Crispus? Or do you have to marry him?"
Now those blue eyes moistened, making them seem even larger than usual. "Is that really your question?"
"If you want to marry him, then you should leave with him in the carriage today. I won't follow you to Britannia, which means the Praetors won't follow either. You can have the life you want, in peace."
"And what if I'm marrying Crispus only because I have to?"
"Then you should leave with him in the carriage. And if I can, I will follow you there."
The first tear fell on her cheek. "If you can?"
"I will not come to Britannia if there is any chance of us being followed. Either I defeat the Mistress or destroy her reason for following me."
She shook her head. "Don't do this to me. How can I possibly know which is the right choice?"
"I'm not asking you to make that decision. Only to tell me if I should follow you to Britannia."
Her shoulders fell. "Crispus knows how I feel. How is it that you still don't?"
I smiled back and took her hand. "Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to destroy the Malice!"